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There's no business like it, and no people like the folks who keep it all going. But it's called show<i>business</i> for a reason. It's a business, and like a business, it needs a mix of ideas and business savvy to keep it running. Whether you're a hard-nosed capitalist or a pure and unsullied Artist, there's a place in the industry for you. Find out what it is by taking this handy quiz.

There's no business like it, and no people like the folks who keep it all going. But it's called showbusiness for a reason. It's a business, and like a business, it needs a mix of ideas and business savvy to keep it running. Whether you're a hard-nosed capitalist or a pure and unsullied Artist, there's a place in the industry for you. Find out what it is by taking this handy quiz.

All Show And No Biz? A Quiz!

The business of show is a journey. What's your first step?

You want to be in showbiz. How do you get your foot in the door?

A life in showbiz is often a life of hustling for your next gig. That means a whole lot of informationals, generals, and auditions. What's your uniform?

You're going to an interview. What do you wear?

Your taxes are due. What do you do?

In other industries they call it a job. We call it a gig. It makes us feel authentic.

You got the gig! What do you do?

You're on set and the producer asks you to blow him. What do you do?

It's opening night and some costumes have gone AWOL. What do you do?

You want to do a shot that's never been done before. How do you pull it off?

The show has been canceled. What do you do?

Your mom is visiting. What do you tell her about what you do?

You won the Emmy/Grammy/Oscar/Tony! Hurrah! What do you say in your speech?

An (out-of-work) actor, dancer, singer, or slam poet, you're a true artist, untouched by trivial concerns like a regular paycheck or a rodent-free living situation. Networking is for social climbers, self-promotion is for phonies, and retirement plans are for wusses. You have your integrity to keep you warm. Since a lot of art simply wouldn't exist if you made what you should, you're actually the biggest philanthropist in showbiz. If you do luck into a well-paid gig, for the love of God get a good accountant and ask your more biz-minded friends for advice, and consider getting yourself a Roth IRA. It's not about selling out - it's about being able to quit the day job and focus on your art, because ultimately that's what makes you happy.

All Show and no Biz

A designer, editor, DP, director, or any performer savvy enough to make a living exclusively by your art, you have the wisdom to acquire bankable skills and the contacts to get hired to use them. Whether originating your own ideas or executing someone else's vision, you always bring your own flair to the table. You're paid - and eventually, paid well - to make magic happen. You bring alien worlds to life. You take ten years off the star by lighting her this way or styling her that way. You're the reason we can immediately tell Lannisters and Starks apart. As long as you have a producer who knows how and when to say no, the sky's the limit.

Mostly Show with a side of Biz

You're a showrunner, head writer, director, star of the show - essentially, any talent successful and savvy enough to get a producer credit and/or points. You speak fluent development and creative. Your agent adores you because you take responsibility for your career, and you never bother her with stupid questions. If you use your powers for good (and your last name is Lucas, Rhimes, Spielberg, Fey, etc), you will expand human horizons and increase tolerance, or at least make life more fun. If you use your powers for evil (you know who you are), enjoy your ill-gotten gains and those lucrative later years as a reality show judge - you can't take any of that to hell when you go.

A perfect balance of Show and Biz

An agent, manager, or development executive, you're chronically underappreciated, especially considering how much more you'd be making if you'd heeded the siren call of McKinsey or Morgan Stanley. In the short term, you can console yourself with luxuries like a working car, an occasional vacation, and healthcare that doesn't suck. The prize at the end of your rainbow is that after years of paying your dues, the day will come when you get to call the team whose project you're pushing, and tell them it's a yes. Two years later they're naming kids after you and thanking you from the podium when they collect their statue. You are mission control to their Neil Armstrong, and it wouldn't happen without you.

Mostly Biz with a side of Show

You're the angel investor, his lawyer, or his right hand man, seated in your corner office with a wall of awards at your back. You made your millions in finance or oil, or by choosing your parents wisely. For you, this is like philanthropy where you might get your money back, and if you don't, at least you lost it doing something awesome. You could've run a hedge fund, held high office, or snorted your fortune, but you wanted to go to heaven (and to premieres). To really understand your underlings, or at least keep them fed, consider taking an improv class. Seriously though, thank you for doing this, instead of being an arms dealer.

All Biz and no Show

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All Show And No Biz? A Quiz!

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