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    18 Ridiculous Messages Men Have Actually Sent Me On OkCupid

    There are numerous ways to approach someone for the first time on dating site OkCupid. Here are a few examples of what NOT to do.

    1. Be original.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    A message solely referring to a woman's appearance is not going to get you a response. Also, omitting spelling, capitalisation and punctuation is just lazy.

    2. Women are more than body parts.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Yes, ALL women want to know that you think their most important feature is their breasts.

    3. Speaking of body parts...

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    No, just no. Why would you ask such a thing?

    4. There might be a theme here...

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Honest female opinion? If you're going to bring up penis size in an opening message, my opinion is that sex with you would undoubtedly be shit.

    5. Don't make assumptions about kink.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Dominant *eyes*? Whut? That's not even a thing.

    6. Opening with a description of a sexual position?

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    HELL NO.

    7. Don't ask for intimate contact.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Weird, much?

    8. Don't be creepy.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Seriously, WTF?

    9. Again with the creepy...

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    "Our future"? Not in this lifetime.

    10. Don't rush things.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    You've looked at my profile for a whole "minute" and you think I should be your "wife"? Let's get married this INSTANT.

    11. You want to WHAT on a first date?

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Go get your cuckolding kicks elsewhere. Also, women don't need men to buy them shit, OK?

    12. Don't compare women to cars.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    I'll give you "scrapyard", mate.

    13. Don't try for a threesome.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Or, at least, if you do, don't send the email whilst your girlfriend is away. Offering photos of her without her being around, and giving her consent, is shitty behaviour. If she really "wants it more" than you do, then the email should come from her, too.

    14. Into kink? Don't be a dick.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Try being nice (even if you are a sadist in bed).

    15. Don't call a woman "stupid as fuck".

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Otherwise you'll find your email shared with millions of people.

    16. The "model" pick-up line needs to die a quick death.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Does it ever work?

    17. Negging is so 2005.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid

    18. Try some humour.

    Zoe Margolis / Via

    Spreadsheets FTW.

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