18 Ridiculous Messages Men Have Actually Sent Me On OkCupid

    There are numerous ways to approach someone for the first time on dating site OkCupid. Here are a few examples of what NOT to do.

    ZoeMargolis
    by ZoeMargolis

    BuzzFeed Contributor

    1. Be original.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    A message solely referring to a woman's appearance is not going to get you a response. Also, omitting spelling, capitalisation and punctuation is just lazy.

    2. Women are more than body parts.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Yes, ALL women want to know that you think their most important feature is their breasts.

    3. Speaking of body parts...

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    No, just no. Why would you ask such a thing?

    4. There might be a theme here...

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Honest female opinion? If you're going to bring up penis size in an opening message, my opinion is that sex with you would undoubtedly be shit.

    5. Don't make assumptions about kink.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Dominant *eyes*? Whut? That's not even a thing.

    6. Opening with a description of a sexual position?

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    HELL NO.

    7. Don't ask for intimate contact.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Weird, much?

    8. Don't be creepy.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Seriously, WTF?

    9. Again with the creepy...

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    "Our future"? Not in this lifetime.

    10. Don't rush things.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    You've looked at my profile for a whole "minute" and you think I should be your "wife"? Let's get married this INSTANT.

    11. You want to WHAT on a first date?

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Go get your cuckolding kicks elsewhere. Also, women don't need men to buy them shit, OK?

    12. Don't compare women to cars.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    I'll give you "scrapyard", mate.

    13. Don't try for a threesome.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Or, at least, if you do, don't send the email whilst your girlfriend is away. Offering photos of her without her being around, and giving her consent, is shitty behaviour. If she really "wants it more" than you do, then the email should come from her, too.

    14. Into kink? Don't be a dick.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Try being nice (even if you are a sadist in bed).

    15. Don't call a woman "stupid as fuck".

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Otherwise you'll find your email shared with millions of people.

    16. The "model" pick-up line needs to die a quick death.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Does it ever work?

    17. Negging is so 2005.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid

    18. Try some humour.

    Zoe Margolis / Via okcupid.com

    Spreadsheets FTW.