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Did You Get Played By A Player? Dont Settle For A Fuck Boy, Choose The GentleMAN

So here is the situation. A guy starts flirting with you, he is cute and he is flattering you. He is attractive and he seems so into you. So what do you do? You start to feel. Ah yes! Women are always notorious for 'feeling'. Men think we feel too much, particularly the players. But little do they understand that playing to our insecurities, making us feel wanted and needed does make us FEEL. But players won't want a relationship. They don't want you to depend on them, they want a quick fuck. Oh yep. That's the stone cold truth.

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Year so, let me tell you a story. A real story. A story about a player or 'fuck boy' that I had a fling with. Let's for privacy sake call him "Tim" (not his real name). "Tim" decided one fine day that I would be his next target. I am an outspoken, loud, proud and sexually empowered woman. I love my sexuality. However, I have never been one that men just instantly find irresistible. Never. I was more like the fat best friend. Not that I had a problem with that part, but it gets a little bit tiring when all the guys only talk to you to get your best friends number. Anyway, after high school, I made somewhat of a transformation, and the biggest thing to change was my attitude. Oh yeah and about 20 kg, give or take. But I gained confidence. Now, 'Tim' walks into my life. Saying the most used lines anyone has ever heard. I could smell the player from a mile away.

"You are the first girl to make me smile in a really long time," he would say.

"I am sorry, but I have to say this. I am so fucking attracted to you right now," he would continue.

He then got himself off by recounting endless sex stories to me.

I mean in hindsight, WHAT THE FUCK? What was I thinking even talking to a guy like this? And if you are reading this and can relate to even one thing. Dude! You gotta split like a banana. Make like a tree and leave (or if you're a nerd. "Make like a tree and get out of here". OH YEAH back to the future reference. For those who aren't nerdy...sorry for that little thing just then.)

Okay. So I knew he was a player. Right from the start, I knew. I think you have to be pretty blind if you can't tell when a boy is a fuck boy.

But hey, if you are or were blind to it, look no judgment. I mean I wasn't blind I was just stupid and decided to pursue it even though I knew what he was like.

I have, for your convenience, written a list of checkpoints that will tell you if he is playing you.

Sign 1

1. (and this is important) He will always turn the conversation into sex. He may not start his conversation about sex, especially in early days but he will try and find ways to slowly integrate it into your chats. In my case "Tim" didn't care to 'fuck around' so to speak. He just went straight for it in about 20 minutes we were talking about sex in some way shape or form. So if he is bringing up sex, a lot...FUCK BOY!! You are being played!

Sign 2 and 3

2. If he doesn't share any of his personal life with you... FUCK BOY! Coming back to number 1, if you have had hours of conversation about sex but he hasn't told you one personal thing... and I mean really personal not just that he has a sister... then you are being played. He only wants sex not any deep relationship.

3. Does he go off the radar for 3-4 weeks? No messages, no snap chats... no thought of you... Yeah, hun, you are being played. But not only is it clear that you are his toy, but he also has 0 respect for you. Because chances are that every time he goes radio silent and you pretend not to care but keep checking your snap chat story to see if he has seen it and if he has seen it, it means he likes you and he is thinking of you. Then 4 weeks later when he finally initiates a conversation with you... for me it's a snap chat photo "hey I'm so horny" you suddenly feel like you have gotten a hit of a drug that you're addicted to. So you continue to entertain him until he has gotten what he wants. Then he fucks right off and leaves you for another 3-4 weeks wondering why he hasn't messaged? And now you feel worse about yourself... OH WAIT 3-4 weeks later you get your hit again...

Sign 4

4. Does he make you feel shit about yourself... If it is yes... Does he care that he makes you feel this way...if no... P.L.A.Y.E.R

Okay, so those are some of my warning signs. And hey, I knew all of these warning signs. My 'fuckboy' radar was going off the charts when 'Tim' entered my life but I didn't care.

But now I have rid him of my life. I decided not to waste my time and energy on him because that's all I was losing but he was not worth it. So how do you get over the fuckboy? How do you move on?

Here are my tips. They worked for me... they might not work for you, but if they don't try to find another method. I really encourage you to detox yourself from this rotten potato in your life. Because at the end of the day, who likes rotten potato, and he is an ugly spud, not a stud.

My Fuckboy detox tips

1. Confront him! Yep, I confronted 'Tom' and said to him "Dude what the fuck? you are in my life one minute then radio silent for the next 3 weeks, then like clockwork your wanting me again, and then nothing for another 3-4 weeks...I am so fucking confused" he gave me some pathetic excuses and I said to him "they are bullshit excuses. I want to be treated with respect. No I demand to be treated with respect" and I was really worried that he would react like 'oh you're so needy, I never wanted to be you boyfriend we both agreed to just a fuck buddy relationship etc...' but I phrased it in a way that he couldn't use this argument on me. I said "this was fun and exciting, but it isn't anymore. I don't want any commitment or relationship from you, and I am excited to be sexual with you but! BUT I am going to be respected. Because I do not feel sexy when I am being used. And I will not be disrespected." and he simply said okay. He wanted to fuck that night. I told him no, and that it would be on my terms the next time... I ended up doing it the next night, on my terms. But I knew it didn't feel right, and he still didn't respect me. and the funniest thing was when I told him he was a fuckboy, he got really offended... and I wasn't being judgy when I said it, I simply said, "you know me, I knew the type of guy you were when I met you... You're a player. You like to play games with girls. or at least you like to play games with me. But I knew this before interacting with you..." and he got upset with me. I was shocked that he didn't, himself, believe he was a player...

2. LEAVE! Once you have confronted the bastard, exit stage left! You got to call him out on his bullshit, you get to tell him you deserve better... NOW you get to move on with your life and realize you DO deserve better!!!

There is a reason a player is called a Fuck Boy, it's because they act like little children, little boys... Do you want your partner to be a boy or a man? Because I know which one I want. Don't settle for the fuck BOY choose the gentleMAN.

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