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10 VISIONS OF LOVE That Could Be Mariah Carey's Next DREAMLOVER

It's not easy pleasing this diva, but ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS 2017 is for her to be happy and in love. Here are 10 HEROs that may be worthy of those whistle tones.

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I DON'T WANNA CRY but when I heard the news that these two lovebirds called it quits I was full of EMOTIONS. Is love even real?? Look at these non-staged photos and tell me you didn't think she found her ONE SWEET DAY. But sadly in the end he was just a HEARTBREAKER. Well SHAKE IT OFF Mariah, I am here to help.

I DON'T WANNA CRY but when I heard the news that these two lovebirds called it quits I was full of EMOTIONS. Is love even real?? Look at these non-staged photos and tell me you didn't think she found her ONE SWEET DAY. But sadly in the end he was just a HEARTBREAKER. Well SHAKE IT OFF Mariah, I am here to help.

1st things 1st. Understanding Mariah and her FANTASY.

Jerod Harris / WireImage

This may be the all time greatest burn I have ever heard. She is a 100% pure diva who will always make it THROUGH THE RAIN.

CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY. And by "that" I mean Lingerie, champagne, and a chaise lounge.

CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY. And by "that" I mean Lingerie, champagne, and a chaise lounge.

She is strangely OBSESSED with butterflies which I get cause what other animal has fake eyes on their wings?!?

She is strangely OBSESSED with butterflies which I get cause what other animal has fake eyes on their wings?!?

She is a comedic genius. Her last album was called "Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse" which will have me lol-ing FOREVER.

She is a comedic genius. Her last album was called "Me. I Am Mariah... The Elusive Chanteuse" which will have me lol-ing FOREVER.

She's not afraid to date older men with INFINITY dollars.

She's not afraid to date older men with INFINITY dollars.

Or #BEAUTIFUL younger men.

Or #BEAUTIFUL younger men.

But she is afraid of brown m&m's. Don't even think about it just MAKE IT HAPPEN.

But she is afraid of brown m&m's. Don't even think about it just MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Phew! Now that that's out of the way, let's find her next HONEY.

1. Marc Anthony

This would have Jennifer Lopez screaming "IT'S LIKE THAT."

This would have Jennifer Lopez screaming "IT'S LIKE THAT."

2. Kevin Thomas (Film critic for the LA Times from 1962-2005)

WITHOUT YOU Kevin Thomas the movie "Glitter" would have a zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes. I bet he's already in her Lambily.

WITHOUT YOU Kevin Thomas the movie "Glitter" would have a zero percent on Rotten Tomatoes. I bet he's already in her Lambily.

3. Scrooge McDuck

I'd give MY ALL to be with him. Old, rich, and never wearing bottoms.

4. Orlando Bloom

Young, hot, and never wearing bottoms. Please TOUCH MY BODY.

Young, hot, and never wearing bottoms. Please TOUCH MY BODY.

5. Adriana Lima

Duh! They could share lingerie cause ANYTIME YOU NEED A FRIEND you find one with lots of bras.

Duh! They could share lingerie cause ANYTIME YOU NEED A FRIEND you find one with lots of bras.

6. The Red M&M

THANK GOD I FOUND YOU! She doesn't like the brown ones ok!

THANK GOD I FOUND YOU! She doesn't like the brown ones ok!

7 & 8. Raymour and Flanigan

I know, I know, she can't date a store but think about all the chaise lounges she could sit on. DON'T FORGET ABOUT US!

I know, I know, she can't date a store but think about all the chaise lounges she could sit on. DON'T FORGET ABOUT US!

9. Butterfly Man

Yes, yes AULD LANG SYNE to this. (I am running out of songs)

Yes, yes AULD LANG SYNE to this. (I am running out of songs)

10. Stella B...lots of other letters (Her Manager)

Maybe her next fling has been right under her nose this whole time. They do look an awful lot alike. I can already hear Stella screaming "WE BELONG TOGETHER!"

Maybe her next fling has been right under her nose this whole time. They do look an awful lot alike. I can already hear Stella screaming "WE BELONG TOGETHER!"

Well I hope SOMEDAY Mariah can find happiness

In the meantime she will ALWAYS BE MY BABY.

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