1. When you walk through the door and immediately the air seems thicker, time seems longer, and your energy evaporates.
2. When your girlfriend asks you for your opinion on an outfit.
You have no idea, and you're pretty sure this is a trap.
3. When you realize that shopping means interacting with other humans. Salespeople humans.
QUICK. HIDE IN THE NEAREST CLOTHING RACK WITH THAT FIVE-YEAR-OLD!
4. When the store fails to provide you with a boyfriend couch.
The torture is real.
5. When you're told "five more minutes," but you knows that means an hour.
"Five more minutes," she said. "One more store," she said. "Just trying on one last shirt," she said... LIES!
6. When you feel like you've been carrying 48,347 bags for 345 hours, your will is broken, AND THEN SHE ASKS YOU TO CARRY HER PURSE.
And all you want is to go to the food court.
7. When you're pretty sure your GF is in a fitting room, but you have noooo idea which one.
1) Awkwardly shout her name and hope she's the only Sarah there.
2) Look under all the doors like a perv.
8. When you're looking for a suit, and none of the tags seem to include sizes or prices.
And asking for help would just be too humiliating.
9. When you're in the women's section, and you just stare at the ground so you don't get in trouble for checking out other girls.
You're pretty convinced the lingerie section is basically one big test.
10. When your GF sees someone she knows and starts gabbing, and you feel your entire day slipping away from you.
11. When you realize that every minute you're in the store is a minute you could be doing something else. Anything else.
You could be at home right now. In your boxers. With a beer.
But you are here, and life is pain.