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Chivalry: Dead Or Super Weird?

Is that my knight in shining armor? Oh, nope… no- that’s just my sandwich wrapped in tin foil.

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You've seen it in every storybook ending and Disney movie of your childhood. The damsel in distress, trapped in the confines of womanhood, alone and hopeless, with her only chance at true love and survival, lying in the mere hands of the majestic and all powerful prince; a true knight in shining armor, who will save his princess and ride off on his beautiful white horse into the distance, forever and ever-

I mean, personally, I'd be super bummed if my Prince Charming rode in on a white horse because you'd think, he could at least afford a Kia?

Now take notice that nowhere in this fairytale did the princess receive an after 2 am text from her knight saying "babe. Come over?"

No, chivalry is not dead, but boy, is it different.


Chivalry was used to describe the moral system of knighthood. It didn't mean opening doors and paying for dinners, but ultimately meant being courteous and being brave. But in the days since the release of Destiny's Child "Independent Women", ladies have learned to put a roof over their heads and shoes on their feet, without the help of any man.


However, historically, women haven't had much choice in relationships. If your father didn't trade you for a goat, you applied for your indentured servitude license at the nearest palace and when Papa died of the Bubonic Plague; he left you a horsehair blanket and a large debt to the old and excessively pervy Lord Miseryshire.

The thing is, is that chivalry is not about the inferiority or the lofty superiority of women, even now in our 'hookup culture' filled world full of awkward selfies and sheepish dating apps- Instead, it's about fostering a mutual respect for one another and realizing that expecting respect or kindness should never make you feel as though you are weak or childish for wanting it.

Unfortunately, kindness to strangers has become a rarity; from slamming doors in other people's faces, to pushing through the line at the checkout counter... The idea of common courtesy is over. It just doesn't exist as much anymore, because friendliness is grounds for suspicious behavior, and kindness is assumed as part of someone's ulterior motives. Nowadays, the only way someone will offer me a seat on a public transportation is if I am visibly and heavily 16 months pregnant, or if my legs are cut off.

In our ever-changing realm of communication, from the 140 character tweets, LOLs and ROTFLs, it seems as if we've lost our ability to communicate, altogether.


In today's society, modern dating has evolved into a huge cluster of other people telling us how to think (self-loathingly), what to do (mainly involves waxing) and when to have sex without shame (usually on Tuesdays). For a woman to survive she needed a sharp tongue and sharper wits to hide it- unfortunately back in the day, sharp wits would get you burned at the stake (the Salem witch trials were such a pain in the ass, weren't they?).


The real problem here is that people in general, for one reason or another, have become complacent and allowed their partners to get away with adhering to the bare minimum. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a husband, nor am I looking for a quickie- all I'm asking for is a copious supply of queso dip, an intriguing conversation, and a chance to spend time with someone, somewhere other than a poorly decorated bedroom.


So for now I will find chivalry where it's always been…in 80's movies. I will wait for John Cusack hold a boom box outside my window and for Judd Nelson to thrust his fist into the air while "Don't You" by the Simple Minds plays in the background. But alas, John Hughes will never direct my love life- and that's okay, because you don't need a cheesy 80's movie, or flowers or a box of chocolates to rectify your existence. The only relationship that is most profound and truly crucial in your life is with yourself. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose.

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