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8 Balto-Bon Jovi Mashups Ranked Worst To Best

This ain't a list for the broken-hearted

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For those of you who don’t remember, Balto is the lovable tale about a half-wolf raised by a neurotic Russian goose who saves the children of Nome, Alaska during the 1925 diphtheria epidemic. Are you kidding me?

And it seems like a large group of people on Youtube agree. There are tons of fan-made music videos exclusively devoted to Balto. And the best ones are set to Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life.”

After methodically watching every video I could find of this on Youtube, I have selected 8 of the best and worst. Keep in mind this is purely subjective - I'm not trying to knock anyone's art here. My heart is like an open highway, but when it comes to Balto-Bon Jovi mashups, not everyone is going to be a winner.

8.

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Coming in at the bottom we have this video. It’s just a jumble of random shots lacking any direction. Had they went for an abstract montage or concept I probably could have gotten behind that, but this video is far from being a Pollock. It is very deliberate, which disappoints me because it is so sub-par. A weird iMovie effect is also being used throughout where the color constantly flashes to black-and-white, kind of like a tipsy strobe light, and it just doesn’t work for me.

7.

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First of all, from a technical standpoint, the editing is choppy. Pacing is certainly this mashup’s biggest weakness. I would have liked this one to encapsulate the movie a little more chronologically. Everything is all over the place and nothing makes sense. To me, there should have been consistent buildup so that the best action shots are in tune with the last chorus when Bon Jovi belts his angst out at a high octave. There was no payoff, and this mashup suffers for it.

6.

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The footage in this video jumps from color to black-and-white so often and I don't get it. If it was a creative decision to highlight flashbacks, I couldn’t tell. Honestly, this one is pretty forgettable, but it definitely finds its footing towards the end with the avalanche footage. Keep on trying!

5.

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This one left me wrecked. Devastated. There was so much hope. So much promise. Let’s begin. First, it's completely in sepia, and I'm a sucker for sepia. Sepia brings back memories of going to the Apple store in seventh grade and taking 500 Photo Booth pics. And with its strong start, I fully believed this mashup would be my muse. Not so. It’s boring, and Balto’s mouth is crudely synced up to Bon Jovi’s lyrics like a shitty lip dub. This is the fuck boi of Balto-Bon Jovi mashups - it looks good, but that’s all there is to it.

4.

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So at first, this mashup was using really low-quality footage that totally turned me off. And they also spliced in this really creepy shot where Balto is salivating over Jenna the gorgeous ginger husky and he totally comes off as a spook. That said, I liked the establishing shot of the Alaskan wilderness at the beginning. It really illustrates the remote, tumultuous terrain of Northern Alaska. And the grizzly bear fight set to “It’s My Life” honestly gives The Revenant’s bear scene a run for its money.

3.

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When I think of a standard homage to Balto set to “It’s My Life,” this video comes to mind. It feels authentic. I love the fact that it highlights Balto and Jenna’s romance. The Balto we see at the beginning of the music video is not the same one that we see at the end. A clear ark is what sets this mashup apart from the ones before. And the use of the iconic howl during the last chorus was truly professional. Solid.

2.

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Holy shit this video is genius. Spirit adds great flair, and I think the juxtaposition of the two stories is fantastic. On one hand, you have Balto shedding his feral roots for acceptance, and on the other you have Sprit just fucking embracing his wild side. There’s so much intensity in this mashup and they both look like fucking animals that you do not want to mess with. Like if you ever see a mustang or a wolf-hybrid, run. Unfortunately, it was so Spirit-heavy that I can’t put it any higher. Still, truly great.

1.

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Like come on. Simply magnificent.

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