This curly-haired fella is Harry Styles, member of the international boy-band One Direction.
We are gathered here today to reflect upon his greatest contribution to society--
--his luscious locks.
Legend has it that on the eve of his birth, Anne Styles received a message from the heavens telling her to name her newborn child Harry, a name that would destine him for greatness.
~greatness personified~
Over the past four years of One Direction, Harry's hair has undergone many trials, tribulations, and transformations. Here is a definitive ranking of Harry Styles' hair styles. No one was harmed during the making of this post.*
*except for the self-esteem of my hair
24. This confusing case of hat hair.
"Bieber on the top, Styles on the bottom." – Some fanfiction, probably.
23. This existential crisis.
His hair was young and insecure (don't know what for) and needed some time to experiment to know what it really wanted. All is forgiven.
22. This windswept waterfall.
Harry should have taken TLC's advice: don't go chasing waterfalls. This was just too much hair. However, the style does receive points for volume.
21. This ponytail with personality.
A little bit of intrigue with this half-up look. We are curious as to what the future holds.
20. This cabbage patch of curls.
The style that started it all. "If we could only turn back tiiiiimmmeee" – Harry Styles in "Moments"
19. This beguiling bump-it.
The ratio of curls to forehead was almost perfect. Since 2010, his follicles have clearly been brushing up on their mathematics.
18. This modern middle-part.
His hair had definitely found the middle(part) ground.
17. This bodacious bun.
Practical and it keeps the hair out of his face which needs to be seen at all times.
DON'T.
WANT.
NONE.
UNLESS YOU GOT BUNS, HUN.
16. This engineering marvel.
An architectural feat that has puzzled engineers for centuries. The 8th Wonder of the World.
15. This Brit Awards masterpiece.
Haylor [induced vomiting] had recently ended and Harry's hair was ready to live while it was young.
Those curls went crazy, crazy, crazy till they saw the sun.
14. The epic battle of bandana vs. curls.
Here are the curls on the front lines of battle, anxious, yet confident.
"We shall show mercy, but we shall not ask for it." – Winston Churchill
13. This hoedown throw-down.
Sweet niblets! This ten gallon hat was the perfect accessory to each delicately lassoed curl. "Giddy up y'all!" – Harry's hair.
12. This comb-over at the Brit Awards 2014.
We are still not comb-over it.
11. This “I’m at me mum’s wedding” style.
This was the perfect marriage between young Up All Night Harry and ~legal~ Take Me Home Harry.
I now pronounce you hair and scalp.
10. These mutualistic relationships between bandana and curls.
Such compromise.
"Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding." – Albert Einstein
9. This uplifting updo.
This was a great day for Harry Styles' forehead-enthusiasts. This was a great day for everyone who was alive: all the newborn babies taking their first breaths – which were immediately metaphorically taken away by this hairstyle, all the old people in the nursing homes that had to call life-alert because this hairstyle physically disabled them, all the middle-aged adults that had to pick their kids up early from school because this hairstyle was just too much.
8. This ray of self-confidence.
Hair flips out, nips out. To quote the most iconic song of the 21st century "The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed…you don't know you're beautiful, that's what makes you beautiful."
Confidence is the most attractive thing you can wear.
7. This Starbucks style.
This was so much more than a good hair day. This was a great hair day.
These curls were so youthful and had definitely been given two shots of espresso. Starbucks had to compensate workers for overexposure to flawlessness while on the job.
Harry had his hands full of coffee, but the world had its hands full of hair perfection.
6. This self-contained apocalypse.
These ringlets carved a pathway of destruction straight into the hearts of thousands. No one was safe from this natural disaster. This hair framed Harry's face perfectly and added some extra spunk and danger to his normal routine. This style was so earth-shattering it measured a 10 on the Richter scale.
~seek shelter~
5. This “long hair, don’t care.”
To quote Tumblr user alexithym-a about this hair, "Oh my."
This hair is definitely young, wild, and free.
This hair is just happy to be alive.
I think we can all learn some life lessons from this hair.
This hair is unafraid of the past, present, and future.
It is ethereal. It was crafted by the silk of the silkworm and blown dry by the breath of angels.
*Looking for a care to give about the haters of this long hair*
4. Anytime a beanie was involved.
The curls are always up for a game of peek-a-boo.
They are just trying to escape for a breath of fresh air.
~free them~
This style really reminds us all that although things may hold us back, we can always push past them and still look *flawless*
"Release your inhibitions," – Natasha Bedingfield giving some one-on-one advice to this hair.
3. This “long hair, do care.”
This long hair really does care – about gender equality! This hair decided to support Emma Watson's campaign #HeForShe and should be congratulated for taking a stand. The winds of change sculpted this progressive, hopeful look.
2. This beautiful bed-head.
This hair inspired Beyoncé's "Flawless" hook. "[Harry] woke up like this." The day this hair was crafted is to be forever cherished as the day when all the boys and all the girls knew what it was like to love and be loved. "Good morning" more like great morning.
Bedhead this good is transcendent.
1. This life-affirming masterwork.
While all other styles are great, this one comes in first place by just a hair. This style changed the lives of millions. Grumpy grandfathers smiled, babies learned how to walk, and the polar ice caps stopped melting!
This is the perfect balance of irresponsibility and maturity. This is yin and yang. The photographer and hair stylist have already ascended to a better place.
This hair has helped us reach spiritual enlightenment. Because of this hairstyle, we can all die marginally happier.
In conclusion...
Although some of these styles have been a bit hair-raising, Harry Styles has pulled through and blessed us all with remarkable hair. His locks rock. They make the world a better place.
His curls will continue to spread peace for all eternity.
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