1. A comprehensive list of very recognizable characters of Dallasites:
You’ve been asked if you ride a horse to school by
someone not from Texas.
Your grass flakes off when you step on it in the summer.
You have switched from heating to air conditioning in less than 24 hours.
All your favorite sports teams get choked when they make it to the playoffs.
You refer to all the highways by their names instead of their numbers. (Central, LBJ, Stemmons)
You bring out your winter clothes when it falls below 85.
You’ve been swimming on Halloween.
You don’t mention Fort Worth unless you’re looking to start some trouble.
If you don’t like the weather, you wait five minutes.
The HP police have pulled you over for doing 36 in a 35 zone.
You can describe where you live using DART bus stops.
You live closer to your rival high school than you do to yours.
You know that despite all the tornado sirens and warnings in the spring that nothing’s gonna happen.
You measure distance in minutes.
You don’t walk or ride your bike because you know you’ll get hit by a car.
Everyone drives pickup trucks, but no one ever carries anything in them.
In the summer, you start your car and run the AC ten minutes before you even get in it.
It gets so humid that you can stick yourself to a wall three feet off the ground.
You recognize places on the show Cheaters.
The water tab on soda fountains says “Agua.”
You know you can get from anywhere to anywhere by driving on Beltline or LBJ.
All the city propositions say “Vote yes!’ if you’re against it, or “Vote no!” if you’re for it.
You know that the Trinity River Project is completely unrealistic.
You understand all the humor in King of the Hill.
You’ve been to the Galleria, Valley View, or West End at least once.
You magically find yourself able to communicate in Spanish.
If your map is more than a few weeks old, throw it away and get a new one.
There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas, we all drive that way.
The majority of all street racing takes place between lifted pick up trucks.
Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday afternoon.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cursed out, and possibly shot.
Construction on Central is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.
Most major streets mysteriously change names when you cross intersections. Plano Road, for example, begins as “Lake Highlands Dr.,” changes into Plano Road after Northwest Highway, then proceeds to be called “Greenville Ave.,” “Avenue K,” “Highway 5,” and ends as “Sherman.”
Depending on where you’re stuck, asking for directions involves a knowledge of multiple languages. In South Dallas and Irving, Spanish is a necessity. However, in Richardson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese is your best bet. In Plano, Hindi will probably do the trick.
You know that the wrought iron bars on windows in Oak Cliff and Fair Park are not for decorative purposes.
It is possible to be driving East in the North-bound lane of West Northwest Highway, and heading South on the West-bound lane of I-35 East.
Vehicles travel faster on the North Dallas Tollway than in most NASCAR events.
The $5.00 parking fee for the fair is much more reasonable than the thousands of dollars of damage that could result to your car from parking somewhere cheaper.
A toll tag is a necessity. Otherwise, you’ll be forced to spend hours waiting in lines at the booths, trading your paycheck for rolls of quarters, and causing major traffic jams.
Turn signals are usually factory defects in cars. Car horns on the other hand serve as “road rage” indicators and can be heard often.
When a light at an intersection turns green, you should count to 5 before moving forward in order to avoid hitting all the cars that turn on red.
You’ve seen an intersection where all four sides have a bank on them.
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