1. Mayor Boris Johnson on the benefits of Voting Conservative
“Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.”
2. Mayor Boris Johnson on Channel 5
“I don’t see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and vital subjects.”
3. Mayor Boris Johnson on NOT taking Cocaine
“I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn’t go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar.”
4. Mayor Boris Johnson on his line on Drugs
“I can’t remember what my line on drugs is. What’s my line on drugs?”
5. Mayor Boris Johnson on the Labour Party Agenda
“Labour’s appalling agenda, encouraging the teaching of homosexuality in schools, and all the rest of it.”
6. Mayor Boris Johnson on allegations of Adultery
“I have not had an affair with Petronella. It is complete balderdash! It is an inverted pyramid of piffle!”
7. Mayor Boris Johnson on why he quit after only a week as a Management Consultant
“Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix, and stay conscious.”
8. Mayor Boris Johnson on why he returned to be a guest on a BBC television show
“Well, basically because of, …for the money.”
9. Mayor Boris Johnson on why Exams Boards should drop Coursework
“Life isn’t like coursework, baby. It’s one damn essay crisis after another.”
10. Mayor Boris Johnson on allegations of Procrastination
“Dark forces dragged me away from the keyboard, swirling forces of irresistible intensity and power.”
11. Mayor Boris Johnson on being told he is refreshingly Honest
“I think the term is recklessly honest”
12. Others on Boris Johnson
13. Arnold Shwarzenegger on Mayor Boris Johnson
“He’s fumbling all over the place!”
14. Comedian Frankie Boyle on Mayor Boris Johnson
“He’s the sort of person who 200 years ago would have died aged 30 leading a cavalry charge into a volcano”
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