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Paris Hilton Lands The Token Racist Invite

The BET people really need to work on their pro forma white invites. I understand you’re black entertainment for everybody, including wealthy white heiresses with hot new house music singles tracking in Qatar. But maybe you don’t pick the girl with…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Melanie Griffith Rethinks Her ‘Antonio’ Tattoo

Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith simply grew apart after one of the longest not-gay cover marriages in Hollywood. There were rumors that the couple broke up over Antonio having an affair with hot Indian actress Mallika Sherawat, but Mallika…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Angel Haze Clarifies Relationship With Ireland Baldwin

Lesbian rapper Angel Haze dished out a little street Aristotle. I don’t fuck my friends. I do fuck Ireland Baldwin. Ergo, Ireland Baldwin is not my friend. I admire Angel Haze for calling out the media for insisting on calling her and eighteen year…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Paris Hilton Flashes Her Panties Filming New Music Video

It’s easy to forget that Paris Hilton is a significant music artist in countries where they still burn goats to make it rain. I was pretty convinced she’d never cut it in the rough U.S. market until I saw that the people who make the hair for Madame…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Porn Star Tweets Dick Pit Of Congressional Chief Of Staff

Here’s an idea. Whether you’re the chief of staff to a Congressman or just the guy who makes a face when I hand him my bowling shoes as if everybody else’s feet smell like fucking daffodils, don’t bang married porn stars. Or porn stars at all for…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Kim Kardashian’s Blond Hair Was Just A Wig, But Her Tits Are Still Real, Right?

Every time Kim Kardashian changes hairstyle, a collective sexual moan emanates from the E! offices down the street. It’s a very primal response for the minions living off her tits. When Kim changes hair color, Jesus, there hasn’t been such an…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Anna Faith Carlson Won The Disney Lookalike Jackpot

Teen model from Daytona Beach may sound like a super elite bio line, but it mostly just means you dress up nice and your chest is too small for wet t-shirt contests. Imagine the good karma of looking like Anna Faith Carlson when Princess Elsa from…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Emmy Rossum Seems Happy

God gave women nipple pokes in Hollywood so when they travel to Africa to snatch infants the kids will be transfixed by the thought of a decent meal. It makes for a quieter plane ride home. I read that somewhere online.

wwtdd • 5 years ago

I Expected More From Dakota Fanning’s Ass

I’m emotionally incapable of experiencing feelings of disappointment. It’s really just a matter of calibrating your happiness expectations to that of meth addicted stripper working the Reno-Sparks corridor. But as somebody who’s watched every Dakota…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Courtney Love Seems Super Not Happy

Courtney Love claims Kurt Cobain wanted to be famous really badly. His anti-social traveler persona was just a cover. It’s hard to understand why Courtney Love would be trashing the legend of her dead husband unless you take into account that…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Miley Cyrus Burned Out, Not Fade Away

It seems like just yesterday Miley Cyrus was Turtle waxing her taint and the nameless black women who sing her songs were rehearsing for a European spectacular Bangerz musical tour. The angry midgets were being boxed and shipped, phallus shaped…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Remember When We All Got Together To Not Photograph Kids?

I have pretty much every Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell high minded missive tattooed on my sleeve of awesome celebrity insights. I remember at the beginning of this year when the two headed vegan Bell-Shepard hydra bitch announced a boycott of all…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Hannah Davis In A See Through Top

The see-through tops and grabbing your own tits memes really have turned fashion into something worthwhile of late. There used to be those heroin chic Euro zombies showing off their tops on the runways, but you always left the boy chested leering…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Kesha’s Ass As The Arbiter Of Musical Talent

Now that Kesha dropped the dollar sign from her name, she looks like a million bucks. Or, like Scott Caan in a wig. Kesha was in rehab earlier this year for an eating disorder. Mostly, she was eating too much drugs and alcohol. Now she’s back to…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Morrissey Get Sick Pretty Easy

Morrissey cancelled the remainder of his U.S. tour, blaming his opening act for getting him sick: Difficulties had arisen on May 31st following Kristeen

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Jillian Michaels Nude But Not Naked

Jillian Michaels and her life partner Heidi Rhoades decided they’d each make a baby to kickstart their new lesbian family. Heidi conceived the old fashioned way. A group of LGBTQ friends spat donated jizz up Heidi’s cooch until a Wiccan clairvoyant…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Miss Teen Colorado Runner Up Does Another Porno (VIDEO)

You may recall that Kristy Althaus was booted from the hallowed halls of pederasty pageant land when somebody leaked her paid appearance in a cinematic venture of a barely legal nature. The Flashdance Town Council immediately stripped her of her…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Marlen Doll Celebrates Chile’s World Cup Victory With 12 Hours Of Sex

Chilean porn star, as if that can be checked, Marlen Doll promised to have sex for eight hours straight if Chile won their initial World Cup match. It’s a big thing for South American pros to promise nudity or sex in support of their nation’s soccer…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Kendall Jenner Offered Millions For Adult Webcam Work

I’m not sure if Kendall Jenner has any plans for after high school, I mean, for after watching her friends graduate high school, but she could do worse than a $1 million indecent proposal from  adult webcam purveyors Jasmin.com. In fact, she’s…

wwtdd • 5 years ago

Chloe Goodman Braless

If I were a woman, I’d dress like this everyday. People would call me interesting and ask, hey, who’s that interesting girl and when does her jacket come off. Then I’d call my dad and tell him that all the unwanted touching in the world couldn’t rob…

wwtdd • 5 years ago