2. The Bible Cure for Irritable Bowel Syndrome
“The claims in this book are false. If you grind up a Bible and consume it in pill form, it will NOT cure your IBS. Maybe I was confused because I only read the title and not the actual book, but my results have been just terrible. I have spent over $300 on KJV Bibles, condemned myself to eternal hellfire for blasphemy, and I STILL have irritable bowels.”
3. What Are These Strawberries Doing On My Nipples?
“I purchased this book hoping on instructions on how to make a good fruit salad. Alas, no recipe. It makes no sense. Who would buy a book that doesn’t teach them how to make fruit salad? I wrote a letter to the publisher for a refund based on the fact that it is false advertisement. He then sent me my refund with his great grandmother’s recipe for fruit salad, only by the time I received it strawberries were out of season and impossible to find. I take this as his sick attempt at humor.”
4. Go the F**k to Sleep
“Shame on me for buying a book with this title and expecting it to be appropriate. Don’t buy this book expecting to read it to your toddler. I thought the title was the only thing, sort of an inside joke between author and reader and that maybe the pages would contain material appropriate for children, but not at all. We just use it as a picture book.”
6. Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story
“Touched: The Jerry Sandusky Story” will fit nicely in your bookshelf along such classics as “Knifed: The O.J. Simpson Story,” “Fondler: Confessions of a Pedophile,” and “Avoiding Blue Dresses: Sexual Harassment for the Aspiring Politician.”
7. The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America
“Living in a world-class city like New York affords endless opportunities to spot stray carts— as they are favored by our lush supply of homeless, druggies, anarchists and menacing, lumbering oafs. While this book does a great job of covering the finer points of abridged carts (Wholefoods), narrow carts (Dagastinos) and oversize carts (Ikea), it’s fails to delve into the restrained carts that once thrived on the LES at various can drops and alleyways from the Pathmark (now closed) on Pike Slip. Turning a deaf ear to those beloved skidding wheels shows a lack of passion I find hard to forgive.”
“What a let-down! I was able to easily masturbate to all these images. And I did, just to prove a point to the author about what a poor job he did. Maybe my onanistic requirements are super-low, but I would not recommend this book to anyone!
EDIT: I now, much to me surprise, realize the title is “Images You *Should* Not Masturbate To”, not “Images you *Could* Not Masturbate To”. I now realize my error, but will keep the review at one star for the all the chaffing involved.”
- The Republican health care bill is all but dead after President Trump asked Speaker Paul Ryan to scrap a vote when it was clear it wouldn't pass.
- Paul Ryan was forced to admit that "Obamacare is the law of the land" after the failure of the Republican health care bill.
- It's time for Ivanka Trump to "stand for women" against Republican health care policies, says Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards.
- Donald Trump had a photo op in a semitruck. The photos were too good not to become a meme — and the internet delivered 🚛👍