1. 1. Sometimes they stand on buckets and stare at you.
Oh me? Yeah, I’m standing on a bucket. Talk to me when you’ve got a bucket to stand on.
2. 2. They pretend to be Oreos.
Just imagine the argument for who gets to be the creme filling.
Also, check out that dog mean muggin’ them in the background.
3. 3. You can win them as prizes.
You can’t win a pig or a dog or a slow loris as a prize. Trust me. I’ve tried.
4. 4. They go surfing on logs.
I know he’s not surfing. But, c’mon. Don’t spoil the fun for him. HE’S JUST A PYGMY GOAT.
5. 5. They prance around in slow motion.
They’re like the Keanu Reeves of animals. Except everybody loves them, and they don’t try to bang Sandra Bullock.
6. 6. They have very exclusive club meetings.
Sorry white goat, you didn’t make the cut.
7. 7. They have spiritual experiences at Burning Man and grow out their beards.
This goat’s name is “James Harden”.
8. 8. Some of them are police officers.
They’re out there making the streets safe. What are YOU doing with your life?
9. Pygmy goats know a thing or two about a thing or two.
So remember, when life gets you down… pygmy goats are a thing.
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