1. You'll see a lot of pristine Barbies still in their boxes. Winona Dimeo-Ediger 2. Lots and lots of Barbies in boxes. Winona Dimeo-Ediger 3. And you might find yourself wistfully running your fingers along the plastic covers and asking one of the vendors, "Do you think they're sad they never got played with?" Winona Dimeo-Ediger 4. To which the vendor will reply, "No." Winona Dimeo-Ediger 5. You'll harbor some confusing sexual feelings about a Ken doll with a bangin' hipster beard. Winona Dimeo-Ediger 6. You'll get a rush from touching a rare vintage Barbie that costs more than a brand new Kia Rio. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Yep, that says "$12,995." As in THIRTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS. 7. And after that, a $10,000 vintage Barbie will suddenly seem like a bargain. Winona Dimeo-Ediger You could barely buy a used Rio for that much. 8. You'll drool over a hand-painted, one-of-a-kind doll wearing a dress made of sequins and vintage Italian lace. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Does this come in my size? 9. And wonder if an itty bitty Louis Vuitton bag is a knockoff. Winona Dimeo-Ediger It's so hard to tell these days. 10. You'll realize that no matter the context, a box full of decapitated Barbie bodies is always creepy. Winona Dimeo-Ediger The upside? You'll also realize that "Heads Priced As Marked" would be a great name for a death metal band. 11. You'll spend an inordinate amount of time pondering where Ken could wear this outfit, before settling on "medieval disco fetish party." Winona Dimeo-Ediger And then you'll be like, "Damn, do those exist? Because I would totally go to one." 12. This Dolly Parton doll will make you consider becoming a serious collector. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Gimme gimme gimme!!! 13. You'll come face to face with a plethora of Barbie-sized wigs. Winona Dimeo-Ediger The guy selling them will tell you this is the last year he's bringing them to the convention, because "it's a real pain transporting this many Barbie wigs on a plane from San Jose." You will nod as if this is a common problem. 14. And experience some pretty serious wardrobe envy. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Common symptoms of attending a Barbie Collectors Convention include an overwhelming urge to fill your closet with more themed outfits. 15. Not to mention furniture envy. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Just wondering if that dining room set could be scaled up to actual size? For around the same price? Thanks! 16. You'll breathe a huge sigh of relief that this hairstyle is no longer trendy. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Because it looks OK on Barbie, but would do nothing for your bone structure. 17. You'll be blown away by the original Barbie art for sale. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Need this hanging next to my bathroom mirror, like, now. 18. Seriously, look at this painting! Winona Dimeo-Ediger Psst -- you can buy them here! 19. You'll look at this "Montana" Barbie, think about the actual state of Montana, and fail to see the connection. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Like, it's green? Maybe that's it? 20. You'll get a little choked up when you see the same Barbie travel case your mom kept on the dresser of her childhood bedroom. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Keep it together. Keep it together... 21. You'll realize you don't have nearly enough Barbie swag in your life. Winona Dimeo-Ediger 22. Especially when you see this girl's outfit. Winona Dimeo-Ediger 23. Three words: Barbie. Shoe. Earrings. Winona Dimeo-Ediger 24. You'll learn bits of trivia that might pay off in the future. Winona Dimeo-Ediger For example: What do early Barbies smell like?Answer: A box of crayons. 25. You'll gaze in awe at pair after pair of matching Barbie shoes. Winona Dimeo-Ediger Proof that, contrary to popular belief and personal experience, keeping track of both Barbie shoes is not impossible.