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19 Devastating Middle Class Clifton Problems

Life in Clifton can be hard.

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1. When your artistic Suspension Bridge photos are out-vibed by strangers on Instagram.

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Every. Single. Day.

2. When you bring the wrong labrador home from your trot on the Downs.

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Such a faff.

3. And worse, when it gets really hectic up there and you can barely practice your sun salutations without windmilling into someone.

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4. When you need Cavolo Nero for tonight's kitchen sups, but Reg the Veg only has kale left.

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Dreadful.

5. When the only game you've got is hanging from your balcony.

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6. When someone you know asks you if you're pro RPZ.

Good grief.
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Good grief.

7. When your friend asks you to meet them in Southville.

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I mean, really?

8. When you're trying to give someone directions to your flat and you're like, "It's the white one with the little balcony and the colourful front door. Oh. Wait."

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9. When your friend reminds you that you could have ended up in Durham.

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Imagine that.

10. When you absolutely have to go down into town, but you can only find the keys to the gardener's car.

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11. When you realise you've missed this week's Quidditch match.

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Terrible disappointment.

12. When your girlfriend meets you at Hausbar at 2am and you're not ready to leave yet.

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13. When even dinner time turns into a fight.

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14. When you're trying to park your car and you lose any community spirit you previously had.

15. When you just want a bunch of carnations to cheer up Nanny, and all you can find are beautifully whimsical floral boutiques

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So inappropriate.

16. When even the street art won't leave you alone.

Such terrific pressure.
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Such terrific pressure.

17. When you find out you've been doing it wrong with gourds all along: They're for decoration, not eating.

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18. When the new waiter in Rosemarino asks whether you've been there for brunch before.

19. And finally, when you're cheesed off with never having anywhere decent to go for sundowners.

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Urgh, it's so uninspiring round here.