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47 Things You Learn When You've Lived In Bristol For Five Years

You know exactly where all the Skins characters lived.

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1. You know that Clifton is full of students and conservatives.

2. But that isn't all that Bristol is about.

3. You've still not got tickets for Glastonbury, like, ever.

4. You really hope St Paul's Carnival comes back next year.

5. You know there's a north/south divide in Bristol, and that it's as big as the one in London.

6. You know this because you can't be arsed crossing the river most of the time either.

7. But you never get bored of crossing the Suspension Bridge towards town.

8. And you barely mind paying either, because it's amazing.

9. When you first learnt that Bristol's harbourside was man-made, it blew your mind.

10. You've been aboard the SS Great Britain. That also blew your mind.

11. You know who Big Jeff Johns is.

12. And you've stood next to him at a gig, too.

13. You've got a taxi to The Grecian, regardless of where you've been drinking beforehand, and never regretted it.

14. You've also been in that one blue cab that's really, really old and stinky inside.

15. Probably after a night on Park Street.

16. You've taken a date to the Downs, for a picnic, and been interrupted by at least one hungry labrador or spaniel.

17. And you've probably taken a date to Bristol Zoo during the school holidays, and regretted it instantly.

18. You've heard the story of the Bristol Zoo parking attendant.

19. The goddamn Bristol Hum.

20. You've got a favourite falafel place, and it's probably Edna's or Falafel King.

21. Plus a favourite piece of street art, and it’s highly likely it’s not a Banksy one.

22. You've even got a favourite regional newsreader and you'll never accept a substitution.

23. You know the Wills Memorial Tower is not Bristol Cathedral: It's not even a church.

24. You've worked out where all the characters of Skins live.

25. And you've been up Brandon Hill Park and knowingly sat on Cassie's bench.

26. You don't go to Harbour Festival after 6pm anymore.

27. In fact, you don't go down Harbourside after 6pm on a weekend. End of.

28. Your last late night trip to Harbourside involved Oceana.

29. And it may have even involved Evolution or Wedgies if you were really lucky.

30. You still mumble about going to Syndicate when you're out, and then remember it's gone, too.

31. You've got your head around how close you live to Wales, but you've not actually been there yet.

32. But you have stopped wondering what's on the other side of the Suspension Bridge and discovered Leigh Woods.

33. You've experienced the strange sensation of going on a hen/stag do in your hometown.

34. You can say Tyntesfield and Bedminster, and pronounce them like a local.

35. You've still not been to the Balloon Fiesta, as you just watch the balloons from home.

36. You remember the Bear Pit when it was pretty much just a bare pit.

37. You also remember when Beacon House was a Habitat and you still have crockery you bought there.

38. You've spent more than an hour trying to park somewhere In Clifton, and ended up just going home instead.

39. On the topic of parking, you remember life before RPZs with either a teary fondness or a pang of rage.

40. You wear daps, not trainers.

41. You've bought at least one Big Issue from the guy outside BTP Park Street.

42. You know the closest places to park near Temple Meads without paying, and you're not telling ANYBODY.

43. You also know the massive pain in the arse that is finding a cash machine at Temple Meads.

44. Talking of which, you know where Harts Bakery is and it changed your commute forever.

45. You've got big beef with the public transport, the parking, the schools, and the traffic.

46. But you're passionately defensive of Bristol's unique politics.

47. You smile to yourself sometimes, realising how lucky you are to be living in such a beautiful city.

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