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How Much Do You Love Cool Ranch Doritos™?

Next stop: Flavortown™!

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  1. 1. How Much Do You Love Cool Ranch Doritos™?

    You like saying you're "all about that flavor," but let's be honest: are you REALLY all about the Bold Flavor™ of Cool Ranch Doritos™?
    Via cdn.hellogiggles.com

    You like saying you're "all about that flavor," but let's be honest: are you REALLY all about the Bold Flavor™ of Cool Ranch Doritos™?

    I make a beeline for the Cool Ranch Doritos™ as soon as I get to the local five-and-dime
    I have crushed a man's trachea for the last bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ in the local five-and-dime
    I ALWAYS bring a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ to swingers parties
    I SOMETIMES bring a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ to swingers parties
    I NEVER bring a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ to swingers parties because the pleasure I get from the Intense Flavor™ of Cool Ranch Doritos™ is a very intimate and personal matter for me
    I've been banned from my church because I've tried replacing the communion wafers with Cool Ranch Doritos™
    If I were on death row, Cool Ranch Doritos™ would TOTALLY be my last meal!
    I only answer to "The Ranchman"
    When my friends try to introduce me to women, they always end the introduction with "and he REEEEALLY likes Cool Ranch Doritos™"
    I only use Seamless to order Cool Ranch Doritos™
    When I close my eyes, I see nothing but a single floating bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I am banned from the local laundromat because of how many Cool Ranch Doritos™ fall out of my pockets and clog the machines
    I am holding up a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ in my driver's license photo
    Just saying "Cool Ranch Doritos™" fills me with an ineffably overpowering warmth
    Whenever my friends call me to invite me over, I always end the phone call with "and I'LL bring the Cool Ranch Doritos™!"
    You know how in Finding Nemo like the way Bruce the Shark reacts to the smell of blood? That's how I act whenever I smell a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ being opened near me
    I've crossed state lines to find a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I've crossed international boundaries to find a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I've willingly committed treason just to get my hands on a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™
    If I don't have a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ in my house, I become catatonic
    If I don't have a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ in my house, I take out all my frustration on my loved ones
    If I don't have a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ in my house, I become violent
    I've taken store clerks hostage over their employer's lack of Cool Ranch Doritos™
    When I take someone hostage over my not munching on some Seriously Flavorful Snackage™, I ALWAYS refuse to yield to federal demands unless I get a lifetime supply of Cool Ranch Doritos™
    When I take someone hostage over my not munching on some Seriously Flavorful Snackage™, I SOMETIMES refuse to yield to federal demands unless I get a lifetime supply of Cool Ranch Doritos™
    No matter the holiday, my table centerpiece is always a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I have a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ in my bedroom for emergency late night snackage
    I have a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ in my bed for emergency late night snackage
    I have ended relationships because my partner removed my bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ from my bed
    I am going to name my firstborn son Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I am going to name my firstborn daughter Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I refuse to travel to any country unless they have a word for Cool Ranch Doritos™ in their dumb-ass language
    I refuse to fly on an airline unless Cool Ranch Doritos™ is a snack option
    I have singlehandedly grounded an airplane and stormed off once I found out they did not have Cool Ranch Doritos™ as a snack option
    I refer to myself as a Guardian of Flavor™
    I refer to myself as the Emperor of Ranchville™
    I've tried smoking Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I've tried snorting Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I've tried intravenously injecting Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I refer to myself as the Wizard of Crunch™
    I've tried fermenting Cool Ranch Doritos™ to make Cool Ranch Doritos™ Moonshine
    I've tried writing off Cool Ranch Doritos™ purchases in my tax returns
    My bed is a waterbed except instead of water it's filled with Cool Ranch Doritos™
    I've legally changed my name to Cool Ranch Doritos™

How Much Do You Love Cool Ranch Doritos™?

Sorry, looks like you're actually a heathen who does not answer to the God of Flavor™! Try harder next time, pagan!

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Yummy! You're someone who sure appreciates Bold Flavor™! Now get offline and go finish your next bag of Cool Ranch Doritos™ ! :D

Via citizenschwartz.com
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