You always have an up-to-date countdown of the days 'til Christmas.Your Christmas light display routinely blows out your town’s power grid.You wake up every morning wrapped in wrapping paper.You secrete eggnog.Your ideal first date? Yule Log & Chill.Every time you shake your head, Christmas lights fall out of your hair.You throw lumps of coal at cars that cut you off.Your first celebrity crush was Burl Ives.Business Casual = Candy Cane Costume.You live in a Bloomingdale's window display.You have a sleigh bell pierced in your nasal septum.If anyone ever says “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” in your presence, you immediately begin pummeling them with a reindeer carcass.You end each phone call by yelling, “YULETIDE UPON YOU!”Your go-to sex music is The Andy Williams Christmas Album.You floss your teeth with a film print of Miracle on 34th Street.You watch Home Alone 2 in its entirety every morning before you go to work.You frequently have to call in sick because you can’t stop vomiting tinsel.You’re banned from the Louvre because you tried to chisel the lyrics for “Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree” on the Venus de Milo.You are going to name your first child Coca Cola Polar Bear.Your diet consists of nothing but gingerbread cookies, and every time your doctor insists you need to at least, like, start taking vitamins or something, you promptly begin beating him with a fruitcake.You greet your neighbors by smearing figgy pudding on their foreheads.You end every job interview by giving a firm handshake and saying, "but now I must consult the Ghost of Christmas Past."You are undergoing reconstructive surgery to become a Christmas tree.
Did you know you can sign up for a BuzzFeed account and create your own Community posts? Get started here!
This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!