You would have been able to get yourself out of any medical or legal situation
Your dad would have worn the BEST sweaters and given zero fucks about it
You would have had parents who were still madly in love
...and stinkin' adorable about it
Your parents would have been totally okay with you having a friend named, "Cockroach"
Your parents would have taught you the value of a dollar even though you were filthy rich
Your parents knew how to have fun without embarrassing you in the process (they just made it look so damn good)
Your parents would have been the cool ones that your friends would actually want to hang out with
You would have had fun ALL the time
ALL. THE. TIME.
Your two seemingly-mixed-and-definitely-not-related-to-you-at-all sisters would have been a non issue
Your hair would have been INCREDIBLE
and last, but certainly not least...
Bill Fucking Cosby
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