Just tried to take a walk around my neighborhood but couldn't because of the low life paparazzi.Instantly put me in a bad mood.
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) March 19, 2012
Been up since 6:30 am. Headache :(
— Miley Ray Cyrus (@MileyCyrus) March 20, 2012
Though he's always been thin, Jon Cryer has a "was once fat" kind of feel to him.
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) March 20, 2012
By my last tweet I mean heartbreaking and vulnerable and sweet!
— Sarah Silverman (@SarahKSilverman) March 20, 2012
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Bout to watch Intervention. All i can say is, this one better accept the help cuz i can't invest an hr only to be crushed at the end.
— Rachel Dratch (@TheRealDratch) March 20, 2012
LMFAO is a thing right now and there's no getting around it. The only way out is through. We'll do it together. Take my hand, don't let go.
— dave holmes (@DaveHolmes) March 20, 2012
I just love it in that one song when it finally goes wigglewigglewigglewiggle.#Idoit
— josh groban (@joshgroban) March 20, 2012
I used to think the show "Married with children" was called "Love and marriage".
— Damon Wayans Yunior? (@wayansjr) March 20, 2012
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I just wanna say the word Jubilee all day.Jubilee jubilee jubilee! Razzamataz Rubilee Jumpin geronimo jubilee!! Ok. I got carried away..
— Juliette Lewis (@JulietteLewis) March 20, 2012
My birthdays july 6 so that's a cool date for ME. Its gonna be july2 album, july4 independence day, then july6 my birthday.
— 50cent (@50cent) March 20, 2012
Pretty pretty vuitton princessinstagr.am/p/IaQq7TS3Kb/
— Brad Goreski (@mrbradgoreski) March 20, 2012
They want to put my black wife beater from my 1st ever comedy special in the smithsonian!!!
— Dane Cook (@danecook) March 20, 2012
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Tonight's Farts:Manly
— Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz) March 20, 2012
My IPhone tastes like lemons... #yesilickedittocleanitinapinchsowhat #dontjudgeme
— Julie Benz (@juliebenz) March 20, 2012
"There must be something better to do than just running after stuff and chewing it" #thingsdogsneversay
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) March 20, 2012
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Looking for a fresh outlook today, so I think I'll take a break from Twitter and browse furniture onlinefor 5-6 hours.
— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) March 20, 2012
Trying to look forward to celebrating yet another Bidet.
— Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer) March 20, 2012
Lmao. Why dey playin Stupid Hoe on Japan TV and not bleepin HOE!!!! Lmaooooooo. Its as ratchet as it cld be! I LOVE JAPAN!!!!!!
— Nicki Minaj (@NICKIMINAJ) March 20, 2012
I miss playing Duck Hunt.
— Danielle Fishel (@daniellefishel) March 20, 2012
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Boner is a funny word.
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) March 20, 2012
LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER AFTER U TAKE A BIG SHIT! YEAHHHHHH! #LILJON
— LIL JON (@LilJon) March 20, 2012
Obama's to blame for the price of gas like I'm to blame for the price of whiskey.
— Denis Leary (@denisleary) March 20, 2012
Only thing sporty about me is my deodorant.
— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) March 20, 2012
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I think @barackobama should DM with Iran.
— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs) March 20, 2012
We did. His name is @NathanFillion. RT @thijsvandertuin: @ZacharyLevi @SethGreen @joelmchale you 3 would make a nice love child together.
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) March 20, 2012
But his peen is much bigger in person. RT @SethGreen: @ZacharyLevi & I realize @joelmchale looks much taller on TV. say.ly/Nix1BKL
— Zachary Levi (@ZacharyLevi) March 20, 2012
How's your penis????
— KhloéKardashianOdom (@KhloeKardashian) March 20, 2012
