What's the wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?
It's hard to see under the greasy finger prints and film of, I don't know, avocado? Banana? But I think it's a picture of my kids.
When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?
French fries. Oh you mean a drink? Yeah, something deeply alcoholic. And then French fries.
What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?
A friend of mine declared a moratorium on "shit-ton" and now I use it a ... lot...
What is the last thing you searched for on Google?
"Best grilled cheese in NY"
Who is the last person that called or texted you?
This woman from the TSA.
What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?
I got frisked by a woman from the TSA cause I'm vaguely certain the X-ray machines will make me grow a third nipple or flippers or something. When she was done acquainting herself with my groin I was like "text me!"
When is the last time you went to a theater?
Tonight. Go see a play. Go!
What TV show should everyone should be watching?
Younger. There is some very fine work being done on that program.
And what is your TV guilty pleasure?
Any disaster movie. Any. Disaster. Movie.
What's the first CD you bought?
The White Album.
What is the one food you cannot resist?
What music are you currently listening to?
I put The Ramones, Dolly Parton and Vivaldi on Pandora. It's like a very soothing form of schizophrenia
What movie makes you laugh the most?
What drives you absolutely crazy?
Intolerant conservative old white guys. And wedgies. Both are all up in my business.
Pick one: Kittens or puppies?
Puppies! Why? Are you giving out puppies??!!
New York or Los Angeles?
New. York. City.
Comedy or drama?
Both. At the same damn time.
Bacon or Nutella?
Coffee or tea?
'80s or '90s?
80's. Bad perm, braces, acne — I've never felt more beautiful. But the 80's- because I will dance the shit out of that music.
NSYNC or BSB?
BSB — easier to text.
Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?
And finally: tell us a secret.
Benedict Cumberbatch is from Trenton NJ.