What's your wallpaper on your phone and/or computer?
The colorful shit that comes with the phone.
When you walk into a bar, what do you typically order?
I smoke a Jazz cigarette, and then I come in all gunz a blazin' with ..."Can I have a diet coke?"
What's the one word you are guilty of using too often?
What is the last thing you searched for on Google?
How to avoid naked pictures of Jennifer God damned Lawrence.
Who is the last person that called or texted you?
I don't know but it ended in a deadly 5 car crash on the 210.
What was the last awkward situation you were in and how did you handle it?
When is the last time you went to a theater?
Saw a Korean movie called The Admiral. It wasn't a porno.
What TV show should everyone should be watching?
If I were a dad, I'd have my kids watch I love Lucy and The Honeymooners.
And what is your TV guilty pleasure?
Guilty pleasures are all murder programs. Forensic Files, Dateline and now The Hunt with John Walsh.
What's the first album you bought?
I think it was some shitty Beatles at the cavern. They were called the "Silver Beatles" and it sounded like it was recorded using a string and a coke can.
What music are you currently listening to?
I'm giving that Phoenix "Bankrupt" a real listening to. Pretty good POP.
What movie makes you laugh the most?
Naked Gun 33 1/3 I think made me laugh more than anything ever made.
What is the one food you cannot resist?
I cannot walk past Peanut Butter M&M's, and Oreos. THAT COMBO KILLS.
What drives you absolutely crazy?
People not using turn signals. If I was a dictator, I'd have them lined up against the wall and SHOT.
Pick one: Kittens or puppies?
New York or Los Angeles?
Comedy or drama?
Dramas are easier to get into. When I go see a comedy after 10 minutes, I'm like...this is bullshit.
Bacon or Nutella?
'80s or '90s?
Hannah Montana or Lizzie McGuire?
And finally: tell us a secret.
I love repairing cacti.
You can catch Horatio in the new animated series Biatches right now on Comedy Central Studios.