"I was getting a divorce. I was going to my lawyer's office to divorce her that day but I wanted to sneak in a quickie. This particular day, someone beat me to the punch. I guess Brad got there earlier than I did. I was mad as hell. You should've saw his face when he saw me.
One day, I’m going to her house to bone her again and no one’s home, and I’m leaving and she’s pulling up with Brad Pitt, and I’m sad. He wasn’t Brad Pitt back then. He was just some little beach-bum-looking dude. 'Hey dude' kind of guy. He was probably selling his body for money or something, I don’t know. He was very pretty. I wasn’t thinking about attacking him. I was just depressed I couldn’t bone her no more."
I was in the hospital last Friday. I suffered a "Mini Stroke", which was not fun at all. Have to start taking care of my body! Getting old!
Getting old? :(
Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux had an engagement party yesterday.
Angelina Jolie will give up acting once her kids hit their teenage years.
Freida Pinto and Dev Patel went out to dinner lat night.
Dustin Hoffman believes that Hillary Clinton will be president someday.
LOL, Snooki is giving baby advice to the royals.
John Krasinski says he'd never have met his wife, Emily Blunt, if it weren't for The Office.
Robert Pattinson is supposedly leaving behind Kristen Stewart because of "family tensions."
Marlon Brando tried to get with Barbara Streisand back in the day.
Sarah Michelle Gellar and David Boreanaz were at the same event over the weekend, OMG!
Proof that Beyoncé really did have a baby bump.
Hillary Duff wants you to know that she's down to a size 26 now.
Ashley Judd could run for office in the near future.
The photo that Meryl Streep and Hillary Clinton took the other night.
Chris Brown went to Amsterdam, got high.
Justin Timberlake used to compete in child pageants.
Octomom has been nominated for four AVN awards.