Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! will make its grand debut tonight. How did we get here, you ask? Well, we sat down with the stars of the camp trilogy to find out — and to get their opinions on some highly important debate topics of today.
So, have you used one before?
Tara: No, I just think they're funny. I love it, I love seeing these people walking around.
Ian: Don't make fun!
T: Do you have one?
I: With my family, are you kidding? When we're out we need a picture!
T: See, I'm by always myself. If I took one by myself—
I: It would be weird. Selfies with groups, with families, fantastic.
I: But by yourself...kinda creepy.
I: Why? It's filled with nitrates and everything else that's going to stop me from living long. I wanna die young, but I want it to be late in life. I'm not saying it doesn't taste great...
I: Anything that makes a gelatinous, mucky consistency form underneath my feet when I wear them...I choose to stay away from. OK, you feel me?
T: [To Ian] Yes. Oh hell yes.
I: With sunblock! Very important. Never go in the sun without sunblock.
I: It tastes disgusting, but you can mellow it with like some vinegar, some lemon... A tremendous amount of antioxidants. A fantastic superfood!
T: Or raspberries.
I: Raspberries! I'll have to try that.
What's your favorite brunch meal?
T: Depends on where it is, but I like chicken and waffles because it's sweet...and it's chicken.
I: Egg whites, oatmeal, maaaaybe something sweet on occasion.
Texting the word "K."
T: If I'm over what someone is saying and I really don't give a shit it's like, "K." Like, shut up.
I: So it's condescending...
T: Yeah, it's like, if someone's annoying, you know, "K."
I: It screams "attitude," I get it now. I gotta change my answer to "hell no."
Texting While Walking
I: You can't avoid it.
T: Not me! I could fall anywhere. Me, I'll walk right into the pole. It's true.
I: I could see it happening.
I: I guess they're out there... I'm not arrogant enough to say they don't exist. Let's just go with it.
I: Twitter is what made Sharknado so successful.
T: And it gives you a voice. So when people say something about you, you can say, "That's not true!"
T: I just don't like boxed wine. It's not my thing.
I: You know, the price point is very effective, very conducive to having a good time on a scant budget... There was a time in college where I drank a lot of boxed wine. Once you put it in the glass, you don't know! You gotta save the corks, actually.
I: Hell no.
T: You're tanner than me right now!
I: You know what, it's not like I sat in the sun to make it happen — this is all because I live in California and we have 300 days of sunshine. It's not too impressive there to be out in it. I always wear sunblock, I don't go to tanning beds; it's not like I'm going to do anything that will age me prematurely. And I'm not averse to spray tans! There used to be a time where you came out of those things looking orange, but the technology has gotten to the point where I an achieve a lovely mochaccino skin color and be quite happy. Mocha-choca-latte is the color I prefer.
T: Oh, yes!
I: Yes, it just works.
T: It's amazing!
I: Especially here in New York City. Can't find a taxi, call for Uber...
T: They'll get here faster!
The Real Housewives
I: Kind of a gulity pleasure.
What's your favorite edition?
T: Um, New York.
I: They're all very watchable.
I: Yeah, why not?
T: Yeah, no... You know what, I don't have to eat gluten-free, but I do recognize that there's a benefit to avoiding gluten.
Do you have a go-to song?
I: Absolutely. Tara, do you?
T: No, for sure not.
I: "Play That Funky Music White Boy." It always gets people up and going.
T: What's that?
When you're texting with someone — maybe in a romantic type of way — and just drop off...
I: I do it at parties.
T: So you're flirting with a guy, you're talking back and forth, and then just ignore him for the rest of your life? I'm not that mean!
Have you ever been ghosted on?
T: Oh hell no!