Just saw a shooting star!!!!!
— ke$ha(@keshasuxx) April 4, 2012
Wished for a schlong!
— ke$ha(@keshasuxx) April 4, 2012
Schllong? Schlong? Schllonghe? Shlong? Shlonge?
— ke$ha(@keshasuxx) April 4, 2012
CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE
— Aubrey O'Day (@AubreyODay) April 4, 2012
How can u stop the rain from falling down?
— Serena Williams (@serenawilliams) April 4, 2012
How do you say "fuck you" nicely?
— Macy Gray (@MacyGraysLife) April 4, 2012
My twitter account is now reaching more people than the New York Times--not bad. And we're only going to get better!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 4, 2012
Incidentally, I also grew these 2 pair of carrot pants. yfrog.com/h0t5yhwj
— Kristen Bell(@IMKristenBell) April 4, 2012
Gosling's heroism is impressive enough to warrant the installation of a Gosling Signal Klieg Light so that we may summon him when needed.
— Damon Lindelof (@DamonLindelof) April 4, 2012
Can I get sick from eating too many gummy bear vitamins? Actually I shoulda asked earlier. Might as well eat 1 more and see what happens.
— oliviamunn (@oliviamunn) April 4, 2012
took the boys on the Harry Potter tour at Warner Bros studio in Leavesdon. Cannot speak too highly of it, spectacular. Try the butterbeer!!
— Russell Crowe (@russellcrowe) April 4, 2012
I guess the people who complain I'm on my phone too much don't realize I'm only pretending to be on it so I don't have to talk to them.
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) April 4, 2012
Loving my foot chain & anklet!instagr.am/p/I_OhfIOS6T/
— Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian) April 4, 2012
What happens when I'm sad? #Nutella #IceCream instagr.am/p/I_YA0zjncr/
— Chloë Grace Moretz (@ChloeGMoretz) April 4, 2012
Watching MTVs Skrillex Unplugged. He's just eating a ham sandwich onstage.
— John Mulaney (@mulaney) April 4, 2012
Martha Stewart is on the Today Show putting gold leaf on Easter eggs. Why is this making me angry? #misplacedpriorities
— Wendi McLendon-Covey (@wendimclendonco) April 4, 2012
Hanging out with @BigKennyTV and @johnrich at the Lionel Richie show last Monday twitter.com/MarcAnthony/st…
— Marc Anthony (@MarcAnthony) April 4, 2012
I am so excited for today i get to hang out with drag queens all day long! #BestDayEver
— Kelly Osbourne (@MissKellyO) April 4, 2012
I just uttered the phrase, "Whoa, that's some Beyonce sh--!" and realized this is one of the highest musical compliments I could bestow.
— st vincent (@st_vincent) April 4, 2012
Me-"Officer, I wasnt texting, I was playing draw something." (Shows cop a drawing of whiskers) Cop-"Youre under arrest."
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) April 4, 2012
I'm by that big arch thing... St. Louis.
— Frankie Muniz (@frankiemuniz) April 4, 2012
Time To Make The Doughnuts.
— Donald Faison (@donald_faison) April 4, 2012
s/o to @kym_johnson for noticing my fly was open right before we walked out on stage last night.This woman is FOCUSED #dwts LoL
— Jaleel White (@jaleelwhite) April 4, 2012
Idea for name of bbq place- the invasion of a rack
— h. jon benjamin (@HJBenjamin) April 4, 2012
Spent the afternoon in Daikanyama Tsutaya bookstore. One of the most beautiful stores I've ever been in. Love, Lenny twitter.com/LennyKravitz/s…
— Lenny Kravitz (@LennyKravitz) April 4, 2012
I feel GREAT today, manic, in fact. I should probably see a doctor, but Im JUST! TOO! HAPPY!
— DJ Qualls (@TheOnlyDJQualls) April 4, 2012
"Man, that lady so stoopit she like Amelia Bedelia."- something I said at breakfast the other day
— Kal Penn (@kalpenn) April 4, 2012
I'm eating solid food today - sorry fellow Coachella dieters.I know I'm letting you down.
— Lo Bosworth (@LoBosworth) April 4, 2012
Improvisational French jazz pop. My least favorite genre.
— benji madden (@benjaminmadden) April 4, 2012
Remember, no matter how tough your life is, at least Celine Dion isn't in the same room singing to you right now.
— Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport) April 4, 2012
After finally overcoming my fear of heights I have decided to take the moral high ground.
— jonathan katz (@jonathan_katz) April 4, 2012
Today is Nat'l Tell-A-Lie day. Guys just remember when you take off your pants your lie will be exposed.
— Dr. Ruth Westheimer (@AskDrRuth) April 4, 2012
Oh no, I think I'm experiencing my 1st migraine.I want to squeeze my skull so tight I could crush it. #NeverHadThisBefore
— Simon van Kempen (@SimonvanKempen) April 4, 2012
excuse me--> YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!! <-- *flips hair n walks off* #fb
— Kimora Lee Simmons H (@OfficialKimora) April 4, 2012
New accessory alert! twitter.com/ScottDisick/st…
— Scott Disick (@ScottDisick) April 4, 2012
Frozen yogurt is proof that sometimes chemicals taste really good.
— zooey deschanel (@ZooeyDeschanel) April 4, 2012
WAIT TILL U GUYZ HEAR THIS NEW AEROSH*T...U R GONNA XXXXXXPLODE
— Steven Tyler (@IamStevenT) April 4, 2012
Leave 'em wanting mor
— Jeffrey Ross (@realjeffreyross) April 4, 2012
