1. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere.
2. That NO ONE is needier than Simon’s annoying ass.
3. When it’s actually important to pick up the phone.
7. Sometimes you gotta show a little skin if you want to get ahead.
8. And then you must defend your choices.
9. Kim Kardashian is a very motivational individual.
11. How to dazzle a crowd.
13. It also costs money.
14. The best financial deals aren’t necessarily the best career moves.
15. It’s easy to promote a product…
19. Elizabeth Korkov is Anna Wintour.
20. She’s not very nice.
AND she’s B-list.
21. That the Hollywood sign has been replaced.
24. Any photographer that does the Kardashian Kristmas Kard must be a good one.
27. Busses are the hottest way to get around town.
28. And if you DO drive, these are the only cars worth having.
30. Willow Pape is the WORST HUMAN.
33. Kim is BUSY.
35. What the right side of Kim’s mansion looks like.
36. And what the left of Kim’s mansion looks like.
37. Modeling is all about confidence and trying not to trip.
38. Also, swagger.
39. And Tyra Banks was right: It’s all about the smize.
40. How to tolerate creepy come-ons like, “You smell nice.”
43. Good shoes are important.
48. And if you listen to Kim’s entire sob story, you might even get a REAL hug!
49. Guys are assholes.
50. Exclusivity is important.
51. Kourtney is the least favorite sister.
In the “Kardash NY” store you can see portraits of Khloe, Kim, and… Kourtney’s face is behind a vase of flowers.
53. Kim Kardashian knows what LARPing is.
54. Sometimes there’s only one answer in life.
56. In Kim’s world, it only costs $35 to fly from LAX to JFK — or Mexico.
57. And this bra cost $975.
58. Guys are assholes.
59. Ray Powers is kind of an asshole.
61. How to enjoy the shade.
64. There is no crying in modeling.
66. It’s not cool to be broken up with over the phone.
68. Kim uses the term “momager” in everyday life.
70. Acting is just lying.
72. MONEY DOES GROW ON TREES.
75. Having no goals is actually quite refreshing.
76. Willow Pape cannot handle her alcohol.
78. Guys are assholes.
79. How it feels to make the A-list.
81. AND THERE IS NO WORSE FEELING THAN THIS:
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