1. Her "relationship" is more like a sinking little relation-boat.
2. She just keeps falling for the wrong type.
3. Her routine is giving her a case of what you like to call “dead eyes.”
4. She doesn't travel, unless to pizza.
5. And you already know what you'd find if you were to check inside her phone:
Just dog selfies. It's time to send help.
6. You're not sure she has a lot of variety in her diet.
Wine does not count as a fruit.
7. She once flaked on you because pudding was on sale at the grocery store. PUDDING.
8. Oh, and Friday night is face mask night, so she won't come out then, either.
9. She does a lot of Netflix with NO chill.
10. Queso makes her happier than anything else in life.
11. You're just not sure she knows who she is anymore.
12. Everyone's getting worried. Even the cat.
It's too much.