1. For starters: when people say "Chelsea is a girl's name," you know you'll never speak to them again.
2. And of course, we all know Eden Hazard is the next great thing in the Premier League.
3. It's a fact of life that when Mikel scores, it's a guaranteed win.
4. You remember exactly where you were on May 19, 2012 for some strange reason...
5. Whenever you find yourself holding a crying baby, for some reason you burst into ♫ carefree, wherever we may be ♫
6. You often point out that our army of attacking midfielders is ABSOLUTELY necessary.
And we have the flair to prove it...
7. Transfer rumors mean nothing anymore, because let's face it, everyone has been linked to Chelsea at some point in time.
8. You feel the need to defend your loyalty by emphasizing that you were a fan before Abramovich showed up.
9. It is your greatest hope that John Terry and Frank Lampard become good guy versions of Ryan Giggs...
10. You like to drunkenly talk about the prospect of someday settling down in West London.
11. You never stop defending the actions of John Terry and Ashley Cole.
Look, everyone makes mistakes, ok? Sheesh.
12. You always roll your eyes when pundits claim they've found the next Drogba.
13. After much practice, you can finally pronounce "Azpilicueta" flawlessly.
And you also pounce on the opportunity to correct others when they screw it up.
14. You take it personally when people call these guys "little."
Just don't do it.
15. It's no secret that Chelsea has the best hair in international football.