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Top 10 Things That Happen After An Earthquake

Living in earthquake country prompts the same reactions every time we get a little shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your booty.

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10. News reporters ask everybody what they were doing during the quake

Almost always outside of a supermarket.

9. Facebook blows up with earthquake related statuses


8. The USGS lady comes out of her geological cave

She has been warning us for years and seems to be getting more annoyed with the general public as time goes on.

7. The USGS starts talking about the possibility of the "Big One."

It's all just building, y'know?

6. Experts give suggestions for earthquake preparedness

Water. Food. Medication. Rinse and repeat.

5. Nobody listens to the experts advice about earthquake preparedness

Twinkies. Saltines. Advil. Got it.

4. The news shows footage of supermarkets being "destroyed."

All that wine has been lost to us. All that shampoo is useless now that is has been thrown to the ground.

3. You spend a good 20 minutes readjusting your pictures frames before realizing it's futile.

All done. *aftershock* Sigh.

2. Mom says to take the breakables off the shelves because of aftershocks.

All the statues of Jesus and Mary, your participation trophies from elementary school, and any Precious Moments figurines that haven't toppled must be moved to ground level.

1. Everybody completely forgets earthquake safety procedures.

DOORWAY, RIGHT? BATHTUB! I thought that was for twisters.

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