A Dose Of Reality (Television)

Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler did his part in selling the band's newest album, Music From Another Dimension!, by appearing on American Idol. On what reality television shows could the other members of the band have appeared to improve first-week sales?

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Aerosmith's latest album, Music From Another Dimension!

Legendary rockers Aerosmith recently released their 15th studio album, Music From Another Dimension! Despite being chock-full of the catchy hard rock and blues sound that propelled the Boston band to stardom nearly 40 years ago, the record made a disappointing debut among the Billboard 200 at number five, selling 63,000 units. These numbers pale in comparison to how Aerosmith’s last three albums of original material—1993’s Get A Grip, 1997’s Nine Lives, and 2001’s Just Push Play—performed in their initial weeks, as all three debuted at either number one or number two and sold between 171,000 and 240,000.

Yes, the music industry has changed in recent years. A group like ‘N Sync could sell almost two million records in its first week even as recently as 11 years ago. Certainly an established act with a devoted fan base like Aerosmith could sell a tenth of that then. But today, unless you’re the indomitable Taylor Swift, whose recent Red album sold more than 1.2 million copies in its first week, no musician should even dream of sniffing that illustrious million-album-a-week mark.

The disappointment surrounding Music From Another Dimension!’s first-week sales, however, is less about competition than it is about respectability. No one should have realistically expected the group’s latest release to compete with Swift’s Red sales-wise or supplant it atop the chart. But couldn’t Aerosmith have sold at least 100,000 albums? Fellow veteran musician Bob Dylan sold that many copies of Tempest, his latest record, in its first week as recently as September. So what would it have taken for Aerosmith to do just that?

To his credit, Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler did his part. For two seasons, between the years 2011 and 2012, the Demon of Screamin’ served as a judge on the still insanely popular American Idol, introducing himself to a whole new generation of enthusiastic music fans, many of whom still purchase records. Given the popularity of American Idol—and the ubiquity of reality television, in general—Tyler’s decision to appear on the show was a savvy marketing move. With that said, maybe the other members of Aerosmith should have gotten themselves their own TV gigs in an effort to give the band a little more exposure. Well, as it turns out, a few of them did, but in all likelihood, you missed them. Here’s where you could have caught these guys on TV recently and where they should have appeared had they truly wanted to sell some records.

Joe Perry

Lead guitarist Joe Perry, the most recognizable member of the band aside from Tyler, made an appearance on a 2012 episode of the Discovery Channel reality television show Sons of Guns. In the clip below, Perry seems reluctant to be on camera, so expecting him to be regularly featured on a television show where he’d have to judge a singer or dance is likely out of the question. But who watches Sons of Guns? Surely, Perry has accumulated some cool artifacts over the years—he is having an antique canon restored on Sons of Guns, after all. He couldn’t have at least visited Rick Harris on the set of Pawn Stars? Not only does that show have to be at least twice as popular as Sons of Guns, but a Joe Perry-Chumlee scene would have been classic.

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"Joey's got a gun. (Bang!)"

Tom Hamilton

Bassist Tom Hamilton announced in 2006 that he had been diagnosed with throat and tongue cancer. Later that year, following a seven-week course of radiation and chemotherapy, he announced that he was cancer-free. Tom’s cancer later returned, but was treated, and he was heavily involved in the creation of Music From Another Dimension!, contributing bass and background vocals as well as co-writing three tracks. Despite legitimately being a Survivor, Tom’s got a valid excuse for not participating in any reality television shows. We wish him well.

Joey Kramer

Drummer Joey Kramer lent his voice to an episode of The Simpsons in 2011. It was his second appearance on the show and first without his bandmates. The fictionalized version of Kramer has a romantic history with Edna Krabappel, Bart’s teacher, who begins dating Simpson neighbor Ned Flanders in the episode. Although it doesn’t get much better than being portrayed as a Simpsons character, the appearance hardly served as a boon to his, or his band’s, career. Kramer is apparently married, but with the recent rumors of an impending Bruce and Kris Jenner split, it’s a shame he’s not single. A role on Keeping Up With The Kardashians as Papa Kardashian would certainly have resulted in the sale of an additional 20,000 records or so. Look at what the show did for Kim Kardashian’s ex-beau Kris Humphries. Not even the Nets, the NBA team for which he plays, knew that he was on their roster before they saw him on E!

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Joey Kramer on The Simpsons.

Brad Whitford

Rhythm guitarist Brad Whitford appeared in a 2011 episode of A&E’s Storage Wars, appraising a couple of vintage guitars and an amplifier for friend and collector Barry Weiss. Instead of having Brad on another highly visible reality television show, I propose that Barry, the program’s breakout star, just joins Aerosmith. He may not have a modicum of musical talent, but the guy flat out rocks. I’m sure he can shake a tambourine or something. Make this happen, and hell, I’ll buy the record right now.

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Brad Whitford on Storage Wars.