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Revisiting The Ten Commandments Of Breaking Up

We always have the choice to make it a little less sore, but discretion has never been my style. In fact the break ups have been more extravagant than all my short lived relationships put together. Last year, on this day we officially sat down to end it like adults and to move on with dignity & sophistication. Alas, if only I had the slightest idea it would take another full year, gallons of tears and endless emails before I am even close to moving on, and mind you those emails were anything but sophisticated. Well, that’s that. Since this awful day marks one year of my misery, attention must be paid. I decided, to revisit the unimpeachable rules of breaking up. Something we must never forget.

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1. Staying friends with the ex? There is no such thing

Not only did I put myself through the total agony. But I also befriended his ex-boyfriend, his ex-boyfriend’s current boyfriend and possibly one of his prospective boyfriends too. What could go wrong?

7. For heaven’s sake do not get a cat simply because you are lonely AF

I got two. And as much as I adore watching cat videos. I am one hundred percent sure my cats resent me just about as much as my ex-boyfriend did.

9. Eat Pray Love are the words to live by

Elizabeth Gilberth practically saved me all the money I would have otherwise spent on a shrink. I will be forever indebted. And even though I don’t have the funds to travel the world, a trip to Babylon is in order.

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