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10 Rejected Michael Bay TMNT Changes

Sometimes even America’s finest director needs to know when to quit. We're trusting you with our most precious childhood memories, Mike.

1. Casey Jones to be played by Ben Affleck

2. Shredder is now a rogue document shredder given power after a failed nuclear experiment by the North Koreans

3. Pizza is replaced by Dominos cheesy bread and accompanied by awkwardly-long brand shots

4. Michelangelo’s Nunchakus are now sticks of TNT, exploding in every other scene

5. Splinter, now the Turtles’ wise-cracking landlord, is a spy for the Foot Clan

6. The Foot Clan is replaced by the Cleavage Clan and shot entirely in slow-motion

7. Will now be known as the Octogenarian Mutant Ninja Turtles

8. The Turtles now live in Ottawa, Canada for intense Mountie chase scenes

9. The movie's theme song and main title will be composed, performed and produced by Nickelback

10. Michael Bay cameos as Sempronio – The lost Ninja Turtle