10 Rejected Michael Bay TMNT Changes

Sometimes even America’s finest director needs to know when to quit. We’re trusting you with our most precious childhood memories, Mike.

1. Casey Jones to be played by Ben Affleck

Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

2. Shredder is now a rogue document shredder given power after a failed nuclear experiment by the North Koreans

Kim Jae-hwan / Getty Images

3. Pizza is replaced by Dominos cheesy bread and accompanied by awkwardly-long brand shots

theimpulsivebuy / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: theimpulsivebuy

4. Michelangelo’s Nunchakus are now sticks of TNT, exploding in every other scene

Michael Welsing / CC BY-ND http://2.0 / Flickr: gnislew

5. Splinter, now the Turtles’ wise-cracking landlord, is a spy for the Foot Clan

Mike Mozart / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: jeepersmedia

6. The Foot Clan is replaced by the Cleavage Clan and shot entirely in slow-motion

David Long / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: fromthefrontend

7. Will now be known as the Octogenarian Mutant Ninja Turtles

8. The Turtles now live in Ottawa, Canada for intense Mountie chase scenes

Mark Woodbury / CC BY http://2.0 / Flickr: markwoodbury

9. The movie’s theme song and main title will be composed, performed and produced by Nickelback

Melissa Gutierrez / CC BY-SA http://2.0 / Flickr: oddharmonic

10. Michael Bay cameos as Sempronio – The lost Ninja Turtle

Kevin Winter / Getty Images

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