2. Your Ride: Reality
You grossly underestimated the cost of a rental car. Your friend Mike says he can borrow his great-aunt’s Pinto, as long as you’re all ok with having to hold your passenger doors closed with a length of rope for the duration of the trip. Oh and six miles to the gallon.
3. Road Trip Companions: Expectation
Everyone is just thrilled to be sharing this time together. You’ll swap stories, and you’ll share smoothies. Twenty years from now, at your weekly poker night, you’ll fondly look back on this trip and regard it as the moment in which the four of you formed an eternal bond.
6. Snacks: Reality
An hour into the trip, Mike will announce that he’s hungry, and even though the rest of you would rather wait longer before stopping, you hastily decide to grab some greasy grub from the next fast food place you see. You reluctantly eat your Bacon Blaster, and then you hate yourself for a while.
8. Music: Reality
There’s no auxiliary input for your iPod, there’s no CD player. There isn’t even a functioning radio in this ancient Pinto. All there is is a tape deck, and the only thing you found under the seat is an old Jock Jams cassette. As “Whoomp! (There It Is)” comes on for the fourth time, a single tear falls down your cheek.
12. Sleeping: Reality
It becomes obvious after three hours of trying that it is just physically impossible for a grown human to fall asleep in a comfortable position while sitting in the seat of a car. To spite this theory, you fall asleep anyway. You wake up twenty-two minutes later with a crick in your neck and your cheek damp with saliva.
17. Flying to Vegas: Reality
Yeah, you can avoid all this mess. Virgin America can now get you from LAX to Vegas and back, and they can do it in the most stylish way imaginable.