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How Serbian Are You?

Did you say "promaja?"

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  1. Check all the serbian things that apply to you!

    Nikolaos Reljin / Via Flickr: nikolaos_reljin
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    First of all, you know what "promaja" is - A.K.A draft paranoia
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    And you know it's not going to kill you despite what your parents told you
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    But you're still a little scared to open two windows in your house at the same time
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    You can read cyrillic
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    In school, you taught your friends the serbian cyrillic alphabet so you could use it as a secret language
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    You teach your friends how to swear in serbian
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    You know rakija is not only an alcoholic drink
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    You use it as an antibacterial
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    You use it to cure illenesses
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    And to celebrate all occasions
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    And also as a massage lotion
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    If you don't have rakija (which probably is never going to happen), you use Sljivovica instead
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    You're addicted to Telemundo's telenovelas
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    And to Balika Vadhu
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    You know Jagdish and Ganga are meant to be
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    Every year, you vote 10 times in a row for Serbia's singer (you don't care who it is tbh) in the Eurovision song contest
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    You sang along with Marija Serifovic when she won in 2007
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    And you know Zeljko Joksimovic's "nije ljubav stvar" should have won in 2012
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    You're rooting for Zvezda or Partizan
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    You were a fan of whatever basketball team Vlade Divac was on
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    Aleksandar Djordjevic was your biggest hero.
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    People assume you're russian because of your last name
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    Or because they don't know the difference between Serbia and Siberia
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    But for some weird reasons they know about Yugoslavia
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    On every wedding you'll eat sarma, supa or kupus
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    You have a 120 gallon barrel of cabbage on your balcony or in your garage
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    Your dad is snoring so loudly you wonder if there's a bear sleeping in the house
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    Your parents call you "my son" (sine) even if you're a girl
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    If you're living in Europe, you're traveling to Serbia every summer BY CAR
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    You have at least one Holy Icon hanging on your wall
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    If you're a girl, your name ends with A
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    And if you're a boy, you're name is probably Dragan
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    If not, you probably know one Dragan
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    You celebrate Christmas, New Year and Easter two weeks after everyone else
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    Your baba doesn't understand the meaning of "I'm not hungry"
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    Your father suffers from the "zeludac syndrom"
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    Your freezer is loaded with meat, especially pork meat
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    No one has ever pronounced your last name right
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    Your father called you "budala"
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    And sometimes "majmune"
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    But you know he does it because he loves you
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    You own Lepa Brena's "hajde da se volimo" on VHS
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    When your dad sneezes, the earth is shaking
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    Novak Djokovic is your #1 and true hero
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    You wish you could marry Ana Ivanovic
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    In school you did a presentation about Nikola Tesla
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    You think nothing's better than kajmak on a slice of bread
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    You love pasulj
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    And burek
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    And pita
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    And gibanica
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    And pljeskavica
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    When you're going out, your parents always tell you "pamet u glavu"
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    When you're laughing too much, your mother tells you " If you laugh too much, you'll end up crying"!
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    You sing "Djurdjevdan" at all parties
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    You "dance" to Goran Bregovic's "kalashnikov" or at least, you try
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    When someone calls you and says "we'll be here in 10 minutes", you know they'll arrive in two hours
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    One of your first words was "jebiga"
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    Your parents always asked you "who do you love the most, tata or mama"?
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    You call Santa Claus "Deda Mraz"
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    You dream about going to Guca
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    You spent one week of your summer vacation in Sutomore, Canj or Kotor
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    Rostilj is a way of life
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    When you meet someone, you kiss this person three times
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    You know it's Beograd and not Belgrade
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    You're probably taller than your friends
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    Inat is your greatest quality
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    Your baba and deda used to scare you with Baba Roga
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    You use the words brat and sestra (brother and sister) for your cousins
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    You own a lot of hoodies and tracksuits
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    You cannot eat anything unless there's bread
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    Your last name ends with IC
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    There's nothing better than drinking a refreshing Jelen Pivo
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    Your parents start to dance kolo when they get drunk
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    You never miss an opportunity to make a party
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    You became superstisious because of your parents
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    If you're a girl, you're obsessed with fashion
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    You know Ceca's entire discography
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    You've watched Resident Evil just because of Milla Jovovich
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    You've watched every film made by Emir Kusturica
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    You know who Vuk Stefanovic Kardzic is
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    And who Sveti Sava is
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    When you meet a serbian person the first thing you ask is "when is your Slava"?
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    Crna kafa is the best
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    On your birthday everyone pulls your ears
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    You watch Pink tv, Pink extra and Pink music
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    You often mix english (or another language) with serbian and you call it Serblish
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    Because of this quiz you wan to go to Serbia right now
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    Tamo daleko
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    This song hits your right in the feels
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    Bez otadžbine, na Krfu živeh ja, ali sam ponosno klic'o, živela Srbija!
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