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If "Friends" Was Set In The USSR

Firstly, the series would be called Comrades. From BuzzFeed Russia.

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1. All the comrades live in a communal flat.

2. "Central Perk" does not exist.

3. The comrades talk over dinner in the communal kitchen. The same table is constantly busy with other neighbours from the rest of the communal flat.

4. After dinner they drink tea from large tin cups.

5. Of course, all the characters of the series (except for Phoebe) are members of The Party.

6. Ross works as a junior researcher in the Paleontological Institute of the A.A. Borisyak Academy of Sciences.

7. He loves to take boiled sausage sandwiches to work.

8. Several times a week, Ross takes the bus to night school at the other end of the city, where he teaches history.

9. Before moving to the communal flat, Ross lives with Carol, in a family residence.

10. After the divorce Ross's wife continues to live in that family room of the residence, so he loses the right to live there and is forced to move out.

11. After the divorce, Ross only occasionally visits Carol and their child.

12. Ross and Carol are subjected to public condemnation at work and at home.

13. Chandler works as an accountant in a small design office.

14. He smokes Kazbek cigarettes, and is not even trying to quit.

15. Chandler's girlfriend, Janice, annoys him with her favourite phrase, "Just look what's going on here!"

16. Chandler's family are considered class enemies of the poor, something he is constantly shamed for.

17. During the dinner together with his comrades in the communal flat, Chandler constantly tells interesting stories from his own life, but they are stories no one believes.

18. In his spare time, he secretly writes small notes, stories, and satirical essays.

19. Chandler sends one of these comic stories to the editor of the sociopolitical magazine Ogonyok under a pseudonym, and it's even published.

20. Chandler is nearly evicted from the communal flat for keeping a duck, a goose, and other animals illegally.

21. Rachel moved to Moscow from the provinces, trying to get away from her parents to avoid an imposed marriage by going to theatre school.

22. At the time of entrance examinations, she meets Joey.

23. Joey, a student loser, is on the verge of departure from the Institute after the second year.

24. Not having enough means of subsistence, Joey is trying to earn money in the local musical theatre.

25. Joey is popular with girls and each time greets them using the same phrase: "Girl! Girl! What is your name?"

26. With his relatively carefree lifestyle, he is periodically subjected to public condemnation.

27. Joey promises to help Rachel get into theatre school and gives her some acting lessons.

28. Rachel still does not get in.

29. Not wanting to go home to her parents, she gets a job as a cashier in a dining room.

30. In the dining room, Rachel meets Monica, who works there as a cook.

31. Due to the fact that she always has to taste the food during cooking, Monica does not lose weight.

32. Every day she steals leftovers to bring supper home.

33. Monica just loves to put things in order. She's the only one who cleans in the communal flat.

34. Because of her love of being the first and the best, she actively involves the other comrades in the work of The Party.

35. No one knows what Phoebe actually does. She regularly disappears from the communal flat for a few days, but then returns.

36. On the days when Phoebe is still at home, she entertains friends by playing the guitar.

37. In particular, everyone likes it when she performs "Мурку" (Murka).

38. Among the comrades there are rumors that Phoebe was arrested for having connections to the den of thieves in Марьиной Роще (Marina Roscha).

39. During her life, Phoebe is periodically exposed to public condemnation.

40. Gunter works as a guard and janitor for the communal flat. In return, he lives in a small single room with no bathroom.

41. Gunther is secretly in love with Rachel. As she does not reciprocate, he takes revenge, reporting all her adventures and behaviour as obscene to The Party.

42. Ross and Rachel end up having a relationship because they live so close together in the communal flat.

43. They decide to get married, but cannot do so, because the registrar does not work at night, and they have to register their marriage request six months in advance, too.

44. Before that, Rachel tries to tell Ross that they need a "break in relations", but in the end decides not to do that, because her "mother didn't teach her to speak to men in such a manner".

45. After many difficulties and problems they are forced to get married after Ross finds out that Rachel is pregnant. A comrade can not afford to leave a pregnant woman.

46. ​​Despite eventually being formally married, over the course of several years they are periodically subjected to public condemnation.

47. This does not prevent Rachel from trying to make a career. She leaves the dining room and finds a job as a salesperson in the State Department Store.

48. Monica is also climbing the career ladder – she first becomes a senior cook, then head of the dining room.

49. The comrades go on a vacation to Crimea where Monica and Chandler fall in love and kiss, but nothing else happens as they are too shy.

50. Later, Monica marries Chandler, thinking this will allow them to move from communal to individual housing. The young family is queued for resettlement.

51. At the same time, Joey finishes theatre school. He gets his first major role, the role of Joseph Stalin, with a young and little-known director.

52. This allows Joey to move to a large communal Stalinist apartment, and means he gets a cash bonus.

53. With the money Joey buys a brand new Volga, a refrigerator, and a number of foreign consumer goods. Rumour has it that he even keeps hard currency at home.

54. All the episodes during Thanksgiving take place at New Year instead.

55. All the episodes with flashbacks are built around stories of how life was "before the war".

56. Gunther, who often caused the comrades to become the subject of public condemnation, exposes himself to public condemnation by becoming an inveterate drunk after learning about the forced marriage of Ross and Rachel.

57. Phoebe leaves and never returns.

58. Even after her disappearance, she continues to be publicly condemned.


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