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    20 Things Gay Guys Want To Tell Their Heterosexual Women Friends

    "I'm not your pet homosexual."

    1. Having gay friends doesn't automatically free you from homophobic attitudes.

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    There are several things that a woman can still say or do in everyday life that could be considered bigoted.

    2. "You don't look gay" isn't a compliment!

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    When you meet a guy you didn't realize was gay, look for something else to comment on. Throw him a compliment. He'll love it.

    3. Not every gay guy is into decor or fashion.

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    So these aren't the only subjects that you can get into with us! We can talk sports, laugh at a jokes from the internet, or converse about current events.

    4. I'm not your pet homosexual.

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    Some women dream of finding a gay friend to pal around with. But remember that we're actual people too!

    5. You don't need to use gay slang to be cool.

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    We know you love RuPaul's Drag Race and that you know what "beat" means. But don't push it, because this is OUR culture and we really appreciate it.

    6. Just because your acquaintance at work is gay doesn't mean we're going to hit it off.

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    We are not an endangered species that needs to crossbreed in the laboratory to survive.

    7. A beautiful gay man is not a waste.

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    There's plenty of people appreciating him.

    8. I don't need to have had sex with a woman to know that I'm gay.

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    You can just scratch that little question off your list. Asked and answered.

    9. I also have problems in my love life.

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    A friendship in which one person just listens while the other talks only about herself isn't real friendship. Ask about your gay friend's life too!

    10. Before telling me I'm going to be the father of your children, did you ever think that I might want to have kids of my own, with my husband?

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    The fact that I'm gay doesn't take away my desire to start a family, either through adoption or having my own children.

    11. We don't have "gaydar."

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    We can't help you figure out if the guy you're crushing on is gay or not. This is a stereotype.

    12. A gay man is also a man.

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    Don't treat us like another one of your female friends.

    13. A relationship might be passive or active, but it's an intimate choice made by the couple.

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    And it might be something that the couple is still discussing and deciding on. Sometimes it's better not to ask about it or get involved if you don't know what's going on in private.

    14. Don't feel like the only time you can call me is when you want to go out and get wild at a gay club.

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    Call me for coffee! Take me to meet your family! Let's go catch a movie, you know?

    15. Sexual orientation doesn't define a person.

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    You don't need to go around introducing John as your "gay friend." He's more than that.

    16. Not all gay guys are open when it comes to the subject of sex.

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    There is a mistaken set of clichés that gay guys are completely settled in their sexuality, are comfortable with their bodies, and are promiscuous. It's simply not true. There are plenty of gay guys who are just as afraid of losing their virginity as you were a few years ago.

    17. Not every gay guy enjoys anal sex.

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    You're not always going to get handy tips, resolve your doubts, or dish about your attempt to give a guy a lil' poke just because your friend is gay.

    18. I can call my friend a fag. You can't.


    And don't go around calling a guy you barely know fag, queen, or fairy. Ask him if he's okay with it first.

    19. A gay person isn't a circus clown.

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    If you heard that "gays are so cheerful and funny," it isn't exactly 100% true. The rate of depression and anxiety among homosexuals is enormous.

    20. Embrace the LGBT cause for real.

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    Going out to gay clubs and having gay friends is not enough for our community. You need to be an activist, get informed, and march alongside the LGBT people that you like so much. We need you.

    This post included participation from Luca Bacchiocchi, Rafael Arrais, Diego de Oliveira, Antônio Neto, and other gay guys who shall remain anonymous.

    This post was translated from Portuguese.

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