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If You're Asian American, We Want To Know The Most Offensive Thing A Non-Asian Has Told You While Dating

"I don't usually like Asian women, but..."

While some people continue to downplay the fetishization, emasculation and overall racism Asians face in the US, if you're Asian, you know exactly how common and real it is — especially when it comes to dating. In fact, it's so normalized that the topic often comes up when I talk to my friends and relatives (particularly those using dating apps).

So, to call to light how prevalent (and offensive) this really is, I want to know: What's the most offensive or outrageous thing a non-Asian person has told you in a dating context (whether on a dating app, while on a date, as they hit on you, etc.)? What's your gender, and what's theirs?

What happened, how did you react, and how did it make you feel?

Let's start off light: Maybe they hit you up with a "Ni hao ma" or "Konnichiwa." (Not that it makes it any better, but extra lol if you're not even Chinese or Japanese, let alone East Asian.)

Or, maybe they take the negging route and tell you that they usually aren't into Asians, but you're special<3 Alternatively, you find out all of their exes are Asian...


Do they skip the "small talk" and jump straight to how much they want to have adorable mixed babies with you?

On the other hand, maybe they just go balls to the wall and tell you that they love submissive partners because it makes them feel powerful, or that they lived in Asia for a while and developed an ~interest~ in Asians — really, anything that screams, "I have a major Asian fetish."

These ones are usually pretty blunt about wanting sex. 

Or, do they just come out with how much they love anime/K-pop/Bollywood, are into martial arts, or really appreciate kimchi/lumpia/dosa?

Maybe they just gave you a whole diary entry about why they're only into Asians that you think a licensed mental health professional should really take a look at.

More broadly, they could have just acted like you should be grateful that they're interested in you and condescended your culture, family, or friends.

It doesn't get more stereotypical than assuming Asian people eat dogs or minimizing the realities of the immigrant struggle.

Whatever it is, tell us your experience in the comments below, and let us know your and their gender, as well. If you prefer to share anonymously, please respond via this anonymous Google form. You could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post.