People Are Sharing Movies That Would Have Ended Immediately If The Characters Acted Normally, And Finally Someone Is Saying It
I expected Harry Potter, but not Frozen...
Ya ever watch a movie and think that if the characters just did the obvious, logical thing, the whole movie could be resolved, like, immediately!?
You know you have.
Well, redditor u/illogicalfuturity recently asked, "What movie would end the fastest if all the characters behaved logically?" And boy, people had thoughts!
So here are 25 movies that would have ended quickly if the characters just...acted logically:
1. Jurassic World
"'The dinosaur escaped!'
"'Oh, let me look at its tracking device...still in there.'
"'Oh, OK.'
"Everyone lives."
2. A Series of Unfortunate Events
"It could have ended after one book if literally any adult had listened to the children who were always right about Count Olaf following them."
3. Star Wars: Episode IV — A New Hope
"It would have ended so quickly if they had just fired one shot."
4. Tangled
"Mother Gothel could have just told Rapunzel her birthday was a different day from the start. Or not even told her about birthdays."
5. Mamma Mia
"Just get a DNA test."
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
"If Sirius had just revealed himself to Harry at the beginning of the movie or book, they could’ve avoided the rest of the series, and Voldemort wouldn’t have come back.
"'Harry, it is I, Sirius Black, your godfather. I was framed for giving up your parents to Lord Voldemort by a man named Peter Pettigrew, who is currently disguised as a rat and living with a family called the Weasleys. You know them? Your best friend? You don’t say.'"
7. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
"Dumbledore: 'Harry, did you put your name in the goblet?'
"Harry: 'No.'
"Dumbledore: "Okay, then you aren’t going to participate.'
"Harry: 'But it’s a magical contract!'
"Dumbledore: 'Yes, but we never really explained what that even means. Besides, you are a minor and can’t enter into a contract. We know that Voldemort is still alive and in the shadows, and it is super suspicious that you somehow entered the Triwizard Tournament without even meaning to. Ergo, this could be one of his cunning plots. It’s likely that one of Voldemort's servants has infiltrated the school, so I will start personally investigating every teacher and student. Also, I am the greatest wizard to ever live, and I have the Elder Wand, so I can probably find a way to break this magical contract, too, anyway.'
"Harry: 'Oh, OK, thank you, Professor Dumbledore.'
"Barty Crouch Jr.: 'FUCK!'"
8. Actually, the Entire Harry Potter Series
"If Harry Potter just used Muggle solutions sometimes, he would’ve saved himself a lot of time."
9. Friday the 13th
"'Isn't Crystal Lake the place people always get murdered?'
"'I think so.'
"'Hmm, let's go somewhere else.'
"Credits roll."
10. Frozen
"I love Frozen, but...
"Chief Troll: 'Fear will be your enemy!'
"Child Elsa: *Frightened.*
"King and Queen, aka Sensible Adults: 'Could you please elaborate on that?'"
11. The Matrix
"'No, thank you, random stranger! Hugs, not drugs, motherfucker!'
"Humans continue to live unknowingly in an artificial world tailored for them while their physical bodies are cared for by benevolent robot overlords who could just as easily have killed all of us and just used cows or something. Instead, Neo had to fuck it up for everyone, and now everyone gets to live in a sunless, sweaty, underground shithole..."
12. Twilight
13. E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial
"If E.T. wasn’t wandering around like an idiot, he wouldn't have missed the ship back home."
14. The Fast and the Furious
15. Kong: Skull Island
"When they saw that 100-foot ape, they should've turned back."
16. The Princess Bride
"'As you wish.'
"'Rail me, you beautiful man.'
"The end. Go to sleep, kid, Grandpa needs a beer."
17. Home Alone
18. Jurassic Park III
"If the guy didn't bribe those two men on the boat to get so close to Isla Sorna, he would have lived, Erik would never have been in danger, and Mr. Kirby wouldn't have had to lie to hire Alan, Billy, and Udesky (who, in turn, hired Cooper and Nash)."
19. John Wick
"If they had just left his dog alone, all would have been good. He’d maybe just try to get his car back, and that’s it."
20. Weekend at Bernie's
"'Hello, 911?'"
21. Carrie
"'We are — for some unknown reason — super jealous of this awkward, shy, and sweet person. Let's fake-invite her to prom and then cover her in pigs' blood.'
"'What the actual fuck, Margaret? We are NOT doing that, and you should seriously consider seeking therapy.'
"Roll credits."
22. 28 Weeks Later
"Do not let the guy with the clearance visit his infected goddamn wife. Also, do not take people out of their secure, private rooms and stick all of them into a GODDAMN SUBWAY STATION during a new outbreak of a highly contagious disease."
23. Batman: The Killing Joke
"'Hey, the sociopathic clown who could destroy the entire world if he put his mind to it is back. Do ya think we should upgrade his cell to be as strong as we can? Maybe even be on a boat in the middle of the ocean, and maybe put a goddamn tracker on him?'
"'Good idea, Frank. We’ll use all of those.'"
24. First Blood
"He walks into Hope, gets kicked out for no real reason, and when he walks back in because he was hungry, he gets arrested.
"TL;DR: All he wanted was something to eat. Now he gave them a war they couldn't believe."
25. And, of Course, Any Movie That Involves "Let's Split Up!"
