Hey, guess what? Cheating always sucks! And sometimes, it sucks even more when you're already married and actually catch your spouse cheating on you.
So, we recently asked married people of the BuzzFeed Community how they found out that their spouse was cheating on them, and... you'll just have to take a look at these responses for yourself. 👀
1. "My ex-husband is epileptic. After he had a seizure one night, he was out of it and pretty disoriented. Before falling back asleep next to me — after I took care of him, gave him his meds, and wiped the drool from his face — he grabbed his phone, tapped something out, and then threw it directly behind him. The phone landed face-up in my lap, showing a text to his mistress that said, 'I’m in love with you.'"
"Our divorce is final next week." —jessicahwright
2. "My mother-in-law told me my husband was cheating on me because everyone knew it — like everyone — except me! He was away on a 'business trip' with his girlfriend, and I brought our kids over to my in-laws to see their new condo. My mother-in-law couldn’t stand it anymore!"
"She said, 'He’s cheating on you.' It still took me a few minutes to comprehend. My father-in-law was there, one of my brothers-in-law... It was a real family affair. 😂
Afterward, I took my kids to a hayride and pumpkin painting activity because it was just the three of us at home for the rest of the (long) weekend. Post Script: I have been blissfully divorced for 10 years!" —christenlemieuxc
3. "It turned out that it had been going on for two years. He'd been grooming his social media to look like he was a single father in the house that I'd bought. He only planned on meeting up with her, having sex with her once (with a condom out of respect for me), and then blocking her because I'd gained weight after having a kid and struggling with PPD."
"I found out when my husband plugged his phone in to charge in the kitchen. We'd spent the night celebrating a friend's birthday over Skype. I'd spent a couple of hours making a new recipe for dinner, as well as dessert. I went out to get a cup of water around midnight after what I had considered a great night, especially during quarantine.
I saw his phone go off, and it was a message from an unsaved number saying. 'I love you, too.' So, of course, I opened the message to find he'd been telling this woman that he'd had nothing but a corn dog for dinner and he missed her and loved her. I went back to see an entire day's worth of messages, and then I confronted him." —k4eba25c65
4. "He kept having to run back to work for something. For the longest time, I believed him. One night, he said he had run to work and sign some reports that were overdue. Ok, fine. He accidentally took my phone instead of his because we had similar cases. I didn’t realize it until the 'Did your wife let you leave yet?' text came through."
"I texted back that he was on the way and asked if she could let him know that he grabbed my phone instead of his. Her response, no joke, 'New phone, who dis?' When he got home, he had this long, ridiculous story but ultimately was never smart enough to put a passcode on his phone or delete the old sexting and pics she had sent." —meaghandonahuem
5. "His grandfather developed dementia. We moved in to help take care of him. My husband didn’t have a job but would leave each day with a bookbag. Long story short: I found condoms in the bookbag, and an open wrapper fell from his pants pocket when I was doing laundry."
"To this day, he REFUSES to admit that he was cheating. He even suggested that the wrapper came from his GRANDFATHER!
He lost my respect and his wife. BUT, we co-parent really well. We just don’t talk about the past." —smileyk
6. "It so happened that the girl my husband was secretly seeing was also colleagues with a close friend of mine. She was showing off photos of her new boyfriend to everyone in the office, so imagine my friend’s shock when she saw who it was."
"She told another close friend — both were also my bridesmaids at my wedding — and they both broke the news to me together, which I am forever grateful for because I know it’s not an easy conversation to have." —tester176
7. "I had a feeling but couldn't prove it at first. He was getting gas in towns we never went to. Lots of leaving in the middle of the night. Lots of gaslighting. One time, we had a charge from a florist, and I never received flowers. He said he bought them for me, but I was being 'such a bitch' that he trashed them. He even told me a sad sappy story about a 'friend' who had a baby and no help, so I bagged up whatever my baby had outgrown to give."
"Then the home phone bill came, and, for some reason, it listed every call that month. There were over 265 outgoing phone calls in one month from our home phone to one number. He also had a work cell and a burner phone — I discovered later — to contact her on.
When I called the phone number, I got her voicemail. And it was his co-worker. Who had just had a baby. Several years later, and that child looks a lot like my own child. We divorced a few years after I found out. Then the gates opened, and I learned the baby momma was only one of many." —justamwgirl
8. "I went to Houston for a job interview. When I called home, my then-husband was really distracted due to a party he was having. Anyway, two days later, I got home. I was spending time with my four-year-old stepson. As I was holding him and telling him how much I loved him, he casually says, 'Like Jenna?'"
"I said, 'Who is Jenna?' My little stepson proceeded to tell me how daddy has this friend Jenna, who spent the night and told him and his older brother — who was six at the time — that she loved them so much and looked forward to being their mommy.
We got home, I called my father-in-law told him I was leaving, filing for divorce, and the reasoning behind it all. Never saw the kids that I loved again or the asshole! Changed my name back." —samantham4162a72e5
9. "My ex used his Apple account to set up my son’s iPad. I was in the kitchen cleaning one evening, and my son — who was two — was sitting on the floor playing on the iPad. He was watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse when he clicked out and said, 'Mama, look!' As a parent busy with chores, we don’t often look, and I said, 'Wow, buddy, that’s cool,' while still loading the dishwasher. He walked over to me, pulled my pants, and said, 'Mama, daddy!'"
"I looked down to then see messages opened with my ex’s nudes — obviously sexting someone. I grabbed the iPad and scrolled through the messages. It was his ex whom he had reconnected with via Facebook. I screenshot everything, sent it to my email on his account, then deleted the evidence and email.
Later on, I confronted him. After a very heated argument in which the police were called, my son and I left for my sister’s house. My ex gaslighted me about everything, and his family came for my throat, saying they would help him get custody of my son. So naturally and calmly, I posted every screenshot on Facebook and tagged him and his entire family in a public post." —sunnyp462c58602
10. "I had been feeling really uncomfortable and in pain *down there* for weeks. I ended up going to the doctor, who suspected I was having an ectopic pregnancy. I was told to rush to the hospital to be checked out but no pregnancy. A week later, I got a call telling me I had chlamydia. Given my apparent shock, the nurse said I 'probably needed to have a chat with my husband.'"
"Eventually, he admitted to sleeping with a prostitute at a well-known local brothel whilst I was working on the other side of the country — though he worked away almost every week, so I strongly suspect there were other instances! He also confessed to being a compulsive masturbator and 'relieving himself' on a daily basis in the toilets at work.
The chlamydia was so well-established, it developed into Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. For years, I was worried it had left me infertile. But the happy ending? My new husband (who is so sweet, kind, and loyal) and I are expecting a baby girl in a few months, so it all turned out perfectly in the end! 🥰" —aprildenison
11. "The idiot borrowed my car, took her out in it, and got pulled over for doing donuts in a cul-de-sac. For some reason, the cops called me to give me a chance to come to get my car and wouldn't let her leave until I showed up!"
12. "About six months after we got married, my ex started talking about a coworker who was having issues with her partner. A few weeks later, he called to tell me she'd be staying at our house because her partner 'got violent.' I wasn't happy about not being consulted, but I'm not gonna turn away someone experiencing domestic violence, so I let it slide."
"My ex stayed up all night with her then got mad at me for being upset about it. This happened twice more — once while his parents were in town visiting. He moved out right after that, claiming he needed 'space to work on his sobriety' (which is a whole different story, but he's definitely not sober).
A few weeks later — exactly one week after our first wedding anniversary — I found a bunch of love notes she'd written to him, online reviews he'd written for hotels and a spa they'd gone to together, and that he was not actually staying with a friend.
I also discovered that her partner wasn't abusing her. He had actually moved out of state a while before because he found out she was cheating. That's maybe the thing that upsets me the most because that was such a disgusting lie to tell.
I bagged ALL his shit up and put it outside, cleaned out our joint account, told his entire family what he'd done, and moved on. Two and a half years later, I'm happier and healthier than ever before." —ssketchator1
13. "The day before my 30th birthday, my (now ex) husband was arrested for sending pictures of his penis to who he believed to be a 14-year-old girl. Thankfully, it was an undercover agent."
"Between then and when he ended up taking a plea deal to avoid prison, I found a pair of women’s panties that weren’t mine under my bed. I know of at least one time he had another woman over while I was at work." —erinnbocks
14. "I was out for my birthday with my husband. He went to the bathroom and left his phone. It rang, showing a name I had never heard him mention. When he got back, I asked him who she was. At the time, he had a really important job that caused him to work away a lot. Sometimes if he missed calls, he could get in trouble — so I just assumed she was someone he worked with. His first response was, 'Nothing’s happened,' which told me that everything had happened."
"He then confirmed he had cheated. Not only that but once, I managed to speak to the woman. They were talking about renting a place together and getting a dog. His work took him away, and she was in the place he worked.
So, he had told her he was divorced, and she had no idea he was still married. She thought he was away for work. This was the tip of the iceberg as I found out he was on multiple dating apps and had cheated multiple times. He then tried to blame it all on me and was vile.
Luckily, I managed to divorce him. Now, I am happily married to the most incredible man, and we are expecting our first child. I thank the woman for calling that day... best birthday I could have asked for!" —n75
15. "My husband asked me — out of the blue — when my last pap smear was and if it was it normal. I told him it was a month ago, and it was fine. I asked, 'Why did you want to know?'"
"'Just wondering,' he answered, and since love is blind, I left it at that. Turns out, the woman he was sleeping with tested positive for HPV! He wanted to make sure I didn't have it because I immediately would have suspected he was cheating. He was my first!" —irule827
16. "My ex told me he wanted to separate on a Tuesday. That Thursday, his friends from out of town stayed at our house, so we pretended everything was fine. On Friday night, my ex got really drunk. When I checked on him, he fell asleep in the basement. It was 2 a.m., and he got a text from a coworker. Seeing as it was an absurd hour to talk about work, I curiously opened the text that said, 'I just told [my husband] that it was over.'"
"I scrolled back and saw that the two had been secretly planning to leave their respective spouses so they could be with each other. They’re a gross representation of a relationship stemming out of the heartbreak of both their spouses.
Turns out, they had been calling and texting each other the whole time while I sat there fighting for our damn marriage. I confronted him about it while our guests were out at a wedding, but I still managed to put on a happy face around his friends and family all weekend long.
This guy was really finding comfort in another woman while I played the part of the sweet, welcoming wife to HIS friends. Coward." —ja5
17. "Husband was logged into our kid's tablet. I was scrolling through downloaded apps trying to locate whatever I was looking for, and I was able to see that apps like Grindr and the like had been downloaded by him (on his device, not the kid's)."
"I started paying attention to everything at that point and found a Craigslist ad he'd put up for meeting other men. The list of awful things he's done could go on. I will never understand why a person is so okay with ruining the life of someone they 'love' just because they don't have the balls to face who they really are." —trisjohnson