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Couples Therapists, Tell Us About Common Red Flags You Notice In Relationships

Maybe it's (co)dependency or trying to stay together for the kids.

As a couples therapist, you've probably seen your fair share of relationships. Consequently, you've probably begun noticing certain behaviors that immediately signal red flags.

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So I'd like to know, as a couples therapist, what behaviors in your clients generally signal red flags to you, and how do you address them?

Maybe you notice one partner is dependent on the other or that there's heavy codependency between the couple.

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Do you encourage the dependent partner to branch out to have other avenues of support in their life?  

More glaringly, perhaps you notice that one partner is controlling to the point that it's abusive.

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Do you call out those behaviors or dig deeper as to what's causing them?  

On the other, maybe a couple is trying to work it out in order to stay together for their kids.

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Is that typically a sign that the relationship is over, or do couples often work it out?  

Or, do you spot subtle boundary violations — like one partner "happening" to pop over when they know the other is buy — or a flat-out bulldozing of boundaries?

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Is there homework to actively maintain specific boundaries set during sessions?  

Whatever these red flags are, share them with us in the comments below, along with how you address them. Of course, if you'd rather respond anonymously, you can fill out this Google Form. You could be featured in an upcoming BuzzFeed Community post!