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16 Love Lessons From Actual Teenagers

Asking teenagers for love advice.

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If there's one thing we're taught in this modern world of Tinder and trying to find The One, it's that love ain't easy. But a heart unscathed is a pure heart, so we asked teenagers their best love advice in the hope of finding something... uncontaminated.

1. It's not all about material goods.

"I feel like older people focus too much on whether the relationship will last and therefore are more critical when it comes to their partners.  For example, they care more about their partner's job and lifestyle than I would at this stage in my life. Teenagers are reckless and don't consider the potential time scale of the relationship! I think everyone should focus more on who the person you're with is, rather than what they have, in order to love them to the greatest extent." —Elinor, 16

The moral of the story, Elinor tells BuzzFeed Life, is don't judge a book by its cover when it comes to qualifications or status. Just look at the person. Going in to a relationship with a list of superficial requirements is short-sighted, Elinor told us, and we think she speaks the truth!

2. Brovaries before ovaries, sistas before mistas.

"Don't put your boyfriend or girlfriend before your best friend. You're less likely to break up with your friend!" —Harry*, 13

No boyfriend or girlfriend is worth sacrificing your bestie for, Harry tells BuzzFeed Life. Yes it's intoxicating hanging out with a new beau 24/7, but your friends were there for you before, and will be there for you if it all goes wrong too.

3. Trust is important, no matter how tempting it is to snoop on notifications.

"You have to trust the person you're with and not check their Whatsapps when they're not looking. But it can be hard to just believe that other people won't hurt you." —Anna, 16

It's hard, especially if you've been messed around before, Anna tells BuzzFeed Life. However, snooping can lead to misunderstanding, crossed wires, and overreacting, so like Anna, just avoid at all costs.

4. Force quit that app, or die trying.


"Never live your life by the Whatsapp blue ticks or 'last seen'. It's soul-destroying." —Andy*, 19

It's a waste of time, Andy tells BuzzFeed Life, as anyone who has spent hours held hostage waiting for a message to deliver or for a read receipt will know. Take Andy's advice, and be chill, dude.

5. There's safety in numbers.

"I know [my sister] recently was saying this and that about relationships, but I'm like, you have to let me go through it or I'll never know... if a guy does one little thing to me, then you're dealing with, like, six other girls." —Kylie, 17*

*Yes, actual Kylie Jenner in Cosmo. She's spot on — you're never alone when it comes to facing heartbreak, and will always have people that have your back. Plus, you can watch as many rom-coms as you like, but going through hard times in the love department is the only way to really learn.

6. Simple pragmatism is the way to go.

"I used to compare myself to my girlfriend's ex-boyfriends all the time but it made her angry, so I stopped. I am who I am, and she's with me for a reason." —James*, 17

James knows what's up, he tells BuzzFeed Life. Exes are exes for a reason, and worrying about them just ruins the present. Live in the moment!

7. Even famous people can be trouble when they walk in.

"You have to remember that even Harry Styles is a normal guy, and nobody is perfect. I mean, Taylor Swift is singing about the boys everyone loves hurting her, and I doubt she's lying." —Sarah, 17

Sarah tells BuzzFeed Life that there's no point idolising certain people, or putting them on a pedestal. Everyone makes mistakes, right?

8. The struggle is real, but one day your Prince will come. #hopeful

"I believe in true love, but you have to get through a lot of frogs before you find your Prince, and it's all about perseverance." —Michaela, 18

With experience comes wisdom, Michaela tells BuzzFeed Life, but that doesn't mean giving up on the idea of The One. Michaela is positive she'll meet her ideal guy someday, and is willing to meet a lot of Mr Wrongs along the way.

9. Grannies give the best advice.

"My grandmother has always told me that I can 'sample the goods without purchasing'! Admittedly, I've kind of stuck to that advice thus far. I also truly believe in the advice to wait until you feel butterflies and don't settle for less. I feel like there are enough lukewarm experiences in life and a relationship shouldn't be one of these." —Clare, 17

Clare's connection with her granny is something else, she tells BuzzFeed Life. If only all grannies were so open-minded eh? You've a good one there, Clare.

10. Make time for just the two of you.

"I've seen that a lot of older couples don't spend as much time together as younger people such as myself — we have nothing but time to kill! Make time for just the two for you because someday that opportunity might not be there anymore." —Jack, 16

Jack tells BuzzFeed Life to just hang out with your other half. Cast your mind back to a time before 70-hour weeks, early morning gym classes, and long commutes. Jack is on to a winner here.

11. Be brave.

"I read a quote once that said "love like you've never been hurt" and it really spoke to me so I keep that in mind now." —Anna, 16

Sometimes in life, you have to take a risk with your heart, Anna tells BuzzFeed Life. Even if it all goes wrong, you'll learn something from it.

12. You don't have to be together all the time.

"My idea of an ideal relationship is when there are two individuals who have separate lives and aren't joined to the hip at all times, but give each other unending support. I believe your partner should be one of your best friends but that you both should have separate interests and dreams outside of the relationship to pursue. " —Clare, 17

Separate is sometimes better, Clare tells BuzzFeed Life. It's really healthy to do your own thing from time to time and hang out with different types of people.

13. Love yourself before all others.

Parks and Recreation / NBC

"Insecurity butchers love in my opinion.  You should love yourself wholly before entering a relationship — how can you love the entirety of another human being if you can't love yourself?" —Elinor, 16

Elinor tells BuzzFeed Life that knowing and appreciating who you are is vital, because you can lose your sense of self in the haze of love.

14. Hold on to the PDAs.

"I think a lot of older people lose the romance in their love life as they grow older. It's rare that you see an old couple holding hands or giving each other a kiss, and I think that's sad. Older couples need to hold onto the romance that they had together as teenagers or young adults." —Michaela, 18

Sure, familiarity and the subsiding of hormones after the honeymoon period means affection can take a back seat. But don't let it slide, Michaela tells BuzzFeed Life. Who doesn't love kissing, anyway?

15. Don't limit yourself.

"I believe that you can find someone who you can truly care for, but I don't believe that we are destined to wander the Earth searching for that one person to make our lives complete." —Jack, 16

Jack tells Buzzfeed Life he does't necessarily believe in soulmates, or at least holding out for them. Solid advice! Who knows if The One exists, so don't eliminate people because they don't fit in with your ideal.

16. Overshare, if you want to.

"This is the first [relationship] I've been in where I don't really want to have to hide it. She's a really cool chick, and we've been hanging out and seeing each other for a little while. I don't want to have to lie to anyone about it."

Cody Simpson told E! News that he was sick of hiding his relationship with stunning model Gigi Hadid.

If you want to shout from the rooftops about your love, do! Just be aware not everyone might want to hear it.

(Names with an * are pseudonyms.)