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    9 Lessons I Learned From My Ex-Boyfriends

    Because every relationship is a learning curve – even the really crappy ones.

    1. You can’t change a person.

    New Line Cinema / Via

    No matter how hard you wish something about them was different, it's highly unlikely that they'll ever behave exactly the way you want them to, even if you're sure that change would better their own life.

    People are autonomous, and don't take too kindly to being coerced, especially in relationships. How would you feel if the person you loved wasn't happy with you just as you are?

    One of my exes was highly resistant to bending even a bit, to the point where we ended up just really living separate lives. But that's why he's an ex, and we're both much happier now we're not trying to compromise with each other all the time.

    2. But people do change by themselves.

    3. Long distance is TOUGH.

    4. It’s so important to get on with their loved ones.

    5. Opposites can attract, but common interests are important.

    6. People you love can hurt you in ways you never imagined.


    It's a fact of life that people lie, cheat and suit their own agenda. They probably don't mean to be a bad guy, and would likely be really sad to upset you. But sometimes we don't even know why we do the things we do, and nobody is perfect.

    I've been lied to many times by men I loved. It hurts like hell at the time, but if there's dishonesty in a relationship, there can never really be any solid foundation of trust – and without that, the coupling is doomed. Some people can work past having their heart broken, but in my case, there was no fixing it in the end.

    7. Nobody is too good for you.

    Bravo / Via

    Adoring your partner is one thing, but idolising them is another. I thought the sun shone out of my first love's ass, and that he was far too good for me. That perception on my part coloured our entire relationship, and led to me putting up with stuff I wouldn't dream of allowing now.

    It wasn't his fault that I thought his shit didn't stink; it was entirely mine. People are mortal, and you should treat them as such – never put your other half on a pedestal.

    8. Sometimes it’s far easier to end a relationship than you think.

    Universal Pictures / Via

    I stayed with a man for a very long time, way longer than I should have, because I thought extricating myself from the relationship would be very traumatic for both of us. Our lives were intricately wound together, but in the end it all came apart quite seamlessly.

    Of course it was tough, but I was prepared for a much bigger battle than it ended up being – something I'm still surprised about to this day.

    If you're staying with someone because you think you've made your bed, or that it's easier to stay than go, just know that you really could be over-inflating the situation in your head. You should always, always go with your gut.

    9. You don't have to stay friends.

    20th Century Fox / Via

    It's scary to let someone you've loved go, which is why most of us give in to the ultimate cliche when breaking up: "let's be friends". But the fact is, you're breaking up for a reason. I remember one ex saying to me "If we end this, I'll never see you again – we don't hang out with the same people!". Um, there's your first clue as to why we're breaking up, dude.

    I guess it depends on what relationship you guys had to begin with, but I've never been able to be friends with an ex and that's okay. I've no hard feelings towards them, but what we had was of that time, and now it's gone. Onwards!

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