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    Mar 11, 2013

    Going On Tour: Expectations Versus Reality

    Sure, it's fun...except when you have to carry your own equipment.

    EXPECTATION: Tour is a 24/7 PARTYZONE.

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    Between the shows and the after-parties, you're tearing it up like crazy.

    REALITY: You'll be doing WAY more waiting around than actual shredding.

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    Waiting to get to the venue, waiting to load in, waiting to load out, waiting to soundcheck – you get the picture.

    EXPECTATION: Fun and hijinks in the van!

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    PRANKS AND SING-ALONGS GALORE!

    REALITY: Sleeping as much as you can before it's your turn to drive.

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    You're SO TIRED from staying out until three last night.

    EXPECTATION: You and your bandmates are going to best-friend bond.

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    Well, this will be at least kind of true.

    But also, REALITY: You get wayyyyy too close for comfort. Everything they do annoys you.

    Like, why do they have to BREATHE that way?

    EXPECTATION: Junk food all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    Um, FRIES AND BURRITOS AND POTATO CHIPS, FOREVER? Yessssss.

    REALITY: Junk food ALL. THE. TIME.

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    You're two weeks in, you haven't consumed any vegetables except for the lettuce that comes on burgers, and you feel like you're about to actually die.

    EXPECTATION: As much free alcohol as you can drink!

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    In between green rooms and drink tickets, you're going to be practically swimming in whiskey.

    REALITY: You are regularly and deathly hungover.

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    You wake up at 8 in order to be sick in a moving van for hours and hours. Sounds like fun, huh?

    EXPECTATION: Interviews that allow you to speak about your individual passion for music.

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    Finally, a chance to express your love for the craft!

    REALITY: Getting asked the same questions all the damn time.

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    You're so tired of having to say who your "influences" are.

    EXPECTATION: Being the coolest-looking person in the room. You're in a BAND, after all!

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    Musicians are the flyest humans around, right?

    REALITY: Getting dressed from your own merch table because you haven't had the chance to do laundry in a month.

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    Well, not if they've been wearing the same socks for six days.

    EXPECTATION: You're surrounded by fans, friends, and groupies!

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    Everybody wants a piece of you!

    REALITY: Having literally NO alone time. None.

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    Between the driving, the parties, the shared hotel rooms and apartment floors, and tour life in general, you'll only have privacy in the bathroom. And maybe not even then.

    EXPECTATION: And speaking of groupies...you're going to be swimming in them, right?

    REALITY:

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    WRONG. Groupies are less common than you might think, and even if they do come around, you won't have the time or privacy to do anything about it.

    EXPECTATION: When all is said and done, you'll have created incredible memories that will last you the rest of your life.

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    Tour stories = the best stories.

    REALITY: Yeah, pretty much.

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    Now take a load off for a while! Or until the next record comes out, at least.