Nifty·Posted on Sep 30, 201316 Life Truths Only Bottle Blondes Will UnderstandIf you're in a dedicated long-term relationship with purple shampoo, keep reading.by Amy Rose SpiegelBuzzFeed StaffFacebookPinterestTwitterMailLink 1. The first time you took the plunge and blondenized your hair, this was your face when you looked in the mirror. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via crazy-for-madonna.tumblr.com You were SO NERVOUS TO SEE IT, but when you realized it was perfect, your life changed for good. Why did it take you so long to do this?! 2. You have never and will never care if it looks "unnatural." Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via mrs--bonham.tumblr.com How could you when your hair is basically the halo of an angel now? That probably doesn't look natural to normal humans either! 3. You have an entire salon's worth of products in your bathroom. Via pamperedpout.blogspot.com Your significant other has taken to washing their hair with purple shampoo since there's no room in your shower for anything non-blond-specific. It'll probably be fine on their hair? 4. Maintaining your length has become a constant source of anxiety. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via britneyspearsgifs.tumblr.com You've begrudgingly replaced your flat iron with an artillery of masks, protective sprays, and anti-breakage serums in the vain hope that your hair won't break off more than it already has. You refuse to give up on the dream of an equine Britney-eqsue mane!! 5. But you're still completely addicted to picking at your split ends. Via notesandthoughtsofawannabewriter.tumblr.com Is there a version of that bad-tasting stuff you use to stop biting your nails for your head? Because you can't stop messing with it at all. Maybe try hypnosis? Is that a real thing? 6. And your hairbrushes look like bales of hay if you don't take good care of your delicate dye job. Via beaut.ie Oh, did you look in the general direction of a swimming pool sometime this month? You're gonna pay up big time in the form of enormous dried-out hair tumbleweeds after every time you brush for a while. Sexy! 7. When you bitch about the upkeep to a friend and they gently suggest that it might be easier to go back to your "real" color, you wonder if they even know you at all. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via heeyysarah.tumblr.com Don't they understand that, as far as you're concerned, this IS your real hair now? I swear, some people! 8. For a few days every six weeks or so, this is your signature look. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via giphy.com But you know that dark roots are sexy in their own way, so you embrace the skunk effect for a little while. If anyone asks, just call it "reverse ombré." 9. And this is your attitude toward the world after you finally re-up your color. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via micaelseabra.tumblr.com A solid hour (or two, or three...) zapping your roots into shape can make you feel more or less invincible. Fresh dye has become a cure-all for every area of your life. 10. When your stylist brings up the idea of potentially going lighter, you're all ears. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via thestarksfell.tumblr.com You won't rest until your hair is more blindingly light than the actual sun. 11. And when they warn that the dye might hurt your scalp a little, you're like, "GOOD. CAN'T WAIT." Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via jhutch-andsuch.tumblr.com Call it blondness-induced masochism, but you actually like the way the chemicals feel now. You know that the sting just means your hair is on its way to TOTAL PERFECTION. 12. You have at least four red lipsticks in your purse at all times. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via rooneymara.tumblr.com Crimson lips with bleached hair are like a cherry on top of a banana split. Delicious! 13. And there's nothing so gorgeous as light hair with dark eyebrows. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via batti-cuore.tumblr.com The effect makes your eyes look HUGE! So don't worry if they're not the same shade — sometimes it's good to be a little mismatched. 14. So take pride in all of your hair's artificially flaxen glory! Via izquotes.com Who cares if people have to wear sunglasses when they look at your head? You know you look marvelous, darling! 15. And try not to think about how much money you spend on your head per month alone... Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via televandalist.com Why would you want a substantially nicer apartment when you can be BLOND? For you, it's not even a question. 16. Because you know it's a little ridiculous, but more than worth it in the end: Blondes really do have more fun. Tap to play GIF Tap to play GIF Via kateuptonfans.tumblr.com So get down with your towheaded self...because you know you look incredible, blondie.