1. The Miami-Know-It-All
"You new here?"
And so it begins, a never ending list of all you can do in Miami. From Little Havana to Everglades. From partying in the Gables to Wynwood Art Walks. It's all in Miami and your Uber driver knows it.
You can count on him (it's usually a "he") to tell you the in and outs of this multicultural, fascinating city. "It's better than New York" they'll say, defending the eternal sunshine and swaying palm trees of the best coast. It can get annoying but it's mostly useful.
2. The one who will try to match your musical taste… at all costs
He's super nice. He wants you and your friends to have the best time. "Choose the music he says" and offers a USB cable. It would be perfect, if only the DJ would have anything other than the iPhone 7.
"I have another cable". "Maybe Bluetooth". "Why don't you try Wifi". And so on, until you arrive destination. All this while on the 836. Oh, no worries! I'm not fearing for my life or anything. It's only Friday, bro!
3. The philosophical-life-altering chatter
If you ride Uber to or from the airport, you'll have one of these.
It starts off as a light conversation about weather and quickly dips into a profound analysis of life and it's many wonders. It'll go from tips to cleaning your kitchen to "You know? Life is all about perspective" to "Why do we exist?".
Life seems different once you get off your Uber… and it's usually for the better. #UberTherapy
4. The "no talking… at all" man
Of course, there's the "I don't really need to talk" driver. He's usually a "he", in his late twenties who will kindly usher you into silence by turning up the music. Given the right music, it's fine. Otherwise: *awkward silence*
5. The one who offers gum
As a distraction because they're are too busy talking over the phone… the entire ride. You're annoyed and kind of want to tell them to shut up but it's gum and you just had lunch, so you take it.
6. The "Relax, chica"
Even if you didn't, it's on you.
Yes, there's an app and it uses GPS so accuracy is expected but it doesn't happen. Somehow three times out of five, it will get it wrong. Blame it on a fast growing Miami and an outdated Google Maps data.
Your Uber driver will point it out but will usually just be nice about it because "Relax, chica. You're in Miami".
7. The "I brought company"… (and it’s not a customer)
So, it's midnight and you're getting out of a nice Spanish dinner party a.k.a SANGRIAAA!! and when your Uber driver arrives there's a young man riding as shotgun.
You're a 20-something-woman taking a 30 minute drive alone with two men you're never met but no problem. That is until the also 20-something-man riding shotgun starts asking very specifics questions about where you're from and tries to get your number. Ummm, awkward!
Even worse? Road work on I-95 makes the ride 30 minutes longer. #AmericanHorrorStory
8. The American Airlines Arena outsmarter
Ubering to AAA? Breezy. Ubering out? A gamble. The novice will wait forever after a concert because EVERYONE is getting out. But the A-players will negotiate with their Uber drivers and set the pickup two or three blocks away.
9. The one who treats you like a star
He calls you by name, offers water, sets the music just right and knows every shortcut to get you there faster. Hey, he even compliments you in a totally non creepy way. #AwwThankYou
10. The Uber partier
Miami is the party capital of the world and everyone knows it.
After 10pm your Uber driver will not only let you party with your friends in the back of the car, they'll usually join in on the laughs.
Uber has been there to save us when we need to get out of a dreadful event we carpooled to or when we've exceeded the amount of alcohol our bodies can take. We've met wonderful people (as well as some people we'd rather not see again).
But most of all, we have discovered a true friend, someone to rely on. Like Superman, Uber is always there to save the day. #LongLiveUber
The Miami-Know-It-AllThe one who will try to match your musical tasteThe philosophical-life-altering chatterThe "no talking... at all" manThe one who offers gumThe "Relax, chica"The "I brought company"The American Airlines Arena outsmarterThe one who treats you like a starThe Uber partier
vote votesThe Miami-Know-It-All
vote votesThe one who will try to match your musical taste
vote votesThe philosophical-life-altering chatter
vote votesThe "no talking... at all" man
vote votesThe one who offers gum
vote votesThe "Relax, chica"
vote votesThe "I brought company"
vote votesThe American Airlines Arena outsmarter
vote votesThe one who treats you like a star
vote votesThe Uber partier