1. The Wait List For Green Bay Packers Season Tickets
It takes a dedicated kind of football fan to brave the length of the Green Bay Packers’ mile-long season tickets wait list. And by “dedicated” we mean “immortal and/or with regular access to a fountain of youth”; started in 1960, the Packers’ wait list has long since passed 96,000 names, creating an average wait time of 956 years. So hey, if the world is still around and not some Road Warrior-esque apocalyptic wasteland where football is played with the mutated limbs of our fallen enemies, then great, more power to your patience.
2. To See A Sequel To “The Wizard of Oz”
While these last few years have seen plenty of supplemental material in the form of musicals and original novels, Wizard of Oz diehards hoping to see a proper sequel to the 1939 original have been just about out of luck. But as the old Hollywood mantra goes, “Where there’s a milkable franchise, there’s a way” — director Sam Raimi’s Oz: The Great and Powerful is in line to be the original film’s first official follow-up (sorry, kids — Return to Oz doesn’t count) when it releases next year, creating a gap of over 73 years since Dorothy first fled Kansas for the Emerald City. Now, if only we had to wait that long between Twilight sequels…
3. The Waitlist To Get Into Disney’s Club 33
How long would you wait to rub elbows with Mickey Mouse while sipping martinis in the most magical place on earth? Walt Disney’s ludicrously exclusive club had a wait list as long as 14 years as of 2011, which is only slightly longer than the line for Splash Mountain in the summer.
4. To Snag “Fifty Shades Of Grey” From Your Local Library
There’s a question that crosses the mind of every aspiring erotic fiction aficionado on the planet: “How can I get my hands on (insert suitably risque novel title here) without anyone finding out that I spent money on it?” While salacious bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey has enjoyed incredible success across the Kindle screens of stealthy middle-aged women everywhere, those hoping to borrow a copy from their local library might find themselves on a waiting list with 1,200 other readers, as is the case at a Rhode Island public library.
5. Sitting Through The World’s Longest Movie
What’s the longest you’ve ever sat in a movie theater? Four, five hours? Nine or ten at one of those really intense back-to-back-to-back marathons? Why don’t you try 240 hours on for size. A gang of wily  Danish filmmakers got together to make the world’s longest art film, a 10-day time-lapse of a building slowly decaying in real-time, which was then projected onto the side of the building in question for over a week straight. And you thought slogging through The Zookeeper was a trying affair.
6. The Longest Wait For An iPhone
Admittedly more of a press stunt than a national average, a group of eco-friendly activists dubbed TheWhoFarm campaigned in front of Manhattan’s flagship Apple Store in anticipation of the iPhone 3GS. Hoping to raise awareness for sustainable foods — and petition the 44th President to turn the White House’s lawn into an organic farm — the activists waited a staggering 168 hours to get their hands on Apple’s smartphone…which must’ve been really boring without having iPhones to keep them entertained.
7. To Get Anywhere In Los Angeles
There’s hardly anything heavenly about the City of Angel’s incredibly congested interstates, where commuters spend an estimated 70 hours in traffic every year. Things to do while stuck in LA traffic: consider moving somewhere that isn’t LA.
8. Travelling From Emeryville To Chicago By Train
There’s a distinct romanticism linked to train traveling that just can’t be replicated when flying through the skies in a crowded-to-overcapacity 747. Romanticism and lots of waiting around. Amtrak’s California Zephyr — one of the longest train rides throughout North America — takes travelers from Emeryville, California straight to the Windy City in Illinois, but passengers have to entertain themselves for a staggering 52 hours while en route. That’s a long time to wait for a slice of deep dish pizza.
9. The Flight From Newark To Singapore
The longest straight-shot flight available, Singapore Airlines offers a 19-hour flight from Newark, New Jersey to the country of its namesake. Now, we certainly understand not wanting to be in New Jersey, but that’s a lot of time to wish you weren’t, you know, on a 19-hour flight to Singapore.
10. Waiting In The Emergency Room
In an odd bit of juxtaposition — “emergency” is right there in the title — the average wait times in national emergency rooms was as high as a jaw-dropping four hours and seven minutes in 2009. Oh, you’re losing quite a bit of blood? Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you got stabbed, hmmmm?
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