For Anyone Who’s Ever Been Canceled On By A Date

Your life is basically an eHarmony commercial. Then the unthinkable happens.

Your date cancels on you at the last minute.

Unfortunately, this is not a joke. We all need to take a moment to breakdown this common, soul-crushing moment.

Here are the endless hours your date did not account for when he ruined your night. This may be a lot to handle emotionally.

12:00PM Head to the gym where you do uphill treadmill intervals in the hopes of losing at least 5 lbs.


You’ve got until 3:00PM to go from Twilight to Jersey Shore

(WARNING: any longer than 15 minutes and you’re asking for a melanoma- GET OUTTA THERE).

4:00PM Drag your sweaty, pale ass to Target to find an outfit that is the perfect combination of CSC (casual, sexy, classy).

When was the last time you went into Target and spent under $50? NOT EVEN POSSIBLE.

5:00PM Stalk your date’s social media platforms extensively. Can we just talk about all the IG photos of him and his best friend…who also happens to be his Mom. SERIOUSLY?

You’re meeting downtown for drinks. Meaning you’ll probably get tipsy and twerk like Miley, but it will be super cute.

It will be so easy and fun you’ll start wondering who’s punking you. Does he live at home? Work at Del Taco? Cook meth? Honestly, doesn’t even matter. We can’t help who we fall in love with, amirite?

HOKAY CRAZY CALM DOWN…It’s only the first date.


Suddenly your bathroom turns into the backstage of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show

You shoot him a text to see what the plan is while you crank up some Songza, “Vodka Escapades: Ladies Be Pre-gaming.”

Your fave Beyonce song comes on and YOU LOOK-

8:00PM You’re just about to change your outfit 12x when your phone vibrates. AW HELL NAW.

This is the part where your date cancels on you.

9:35PM You manage to reply with something low-key, “Oh no, that’s awful! Good luck with your (INSERT COMPLETE BULLSHIT EXCUSE HERE).” What you really want to say is:

Because you know this is what he’s actually doing:

You’re drowning in your own mascara and your once bouncing curls go up into the dreaded high bun, never to fall freely again:


You’re scrolling through your IG account and texts like, “WHY WHY WHY…”

You’re so angry that you try to kick into the denial stage, as if this whole thing never happened.

Oh, but it did happen and suddenly you feel like The Mother of Dragons.

You’re friends will be like, “Girl, he don’t deserve you.”

Good thing you have a double date with Jesse Pinkman and Walter White tonight.


You’re gonna be okay.

Lesson of The Day: Not everyone can handle all the awesomeness that you’re werkin’ with.

What can’t handle it?

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