15 Essential Chip Flavours To Help Canadians Get Through The US Election

Can’t make up your mind? All dressed chips know what it’s like to be a hot mess. Québec’s Yum Yum Chips pioneered the combination of ketchup, barbecue, salt and vinegar, and sour cream and onion flavourings that’s been a mainstay for anyone who finds it impossible to choose.

You’re frugal, sensible, and have no patience for political malarkey. Practical to the core, you know that interesting television broadcasts are few and far between these days. No Name’s plainest chips are unflappable and underrated — and pair well with refreshing No Name Beer.

You are downright terrified for your friends in the US. Thankfully, the combo of dairy, bacon, and carby potatoes is the perfect comfort snack to enjoy in your pjs while you send supportive messages over DM.

If the hellscape of elections and COVID-19 is all too much, just keep looking at the jaunty potato chip disguised as a turkey, dancing on the bag of Canadian Tire’s FRANK Feels Stuffed chips.

If you’re really rooting for team USA, reach for a bag of red, white, and blue Carnival tortilla chips from British Columbia’s Que Pasa. Add some PC Black Label Peach and Mango Salsa on the side as a subtle nod to Joe Biden. Peach blossoms are the state flower of Biden’s beloved Delaware.

This is the unofficial chip of the political science student who wants everyone in their social bubble to turn to them for sophisticated insights come election night. They’re also hoping everyone brings real food to their socially distanced election party, because a fancy student is still a student.

If thoughts of election night make your knees knock with fear, a bag of Winnipeg’s Old Dutch Dill Pickle Chips will see you through. Plus, dill pickle is the rumoured favourite flavour of Celine Dion and Shania Twain. Who doesn’t feel better knowing that?

If you’re reaching for BC-born Hardbite’s Berry Smokey Parsnips Chips, you don’t care who wins the election. You just wanna know where Melania got her dress. Let's face it, the night is as much about fashion and gossip as anything else.

These ones are for the sassy armchair pundits that like to shake things up. They pretend that, if given the chance, they’d be voting third party but all the way. But deep down they want the orange menace gone just as much as the next guy.

Jalapeño chips are a bold flavour for stress eating but, then again, you’re a bold person. You’re sick of election drama and it only feels right to have a chip that matches the intensity of the moment. If a few Scoville units can’t numb this madness, nothing else will.

You normally shy away from all the negativity of politics, but with your zesty sour cream and onion chips by your side, you can’t help but lob a few zingers at the TV. Shame on all those politicians interrupting one another! You’d shake a finger at them if you weren’t busy licking off all the chip dust.

For news junkies, election night is all about the journey, not the destination. You need an inexhaustible snack food to keep pace with your TV marathon. Hostess Hickory Sticks will keep you company as you pull an all-nighter.

One way or another, you'll be ending election night on a sweet note. These salty, crunchy PEI potato chips are coated in sweet, creamy chocolate and are absolutely irresistible. If you surreptitiously check out some island vacation rentals as the election results roll in, no one will blame you in the least.

With a comforting bag of Lay’s Ketchup Chips clutched to your chest, you pull yourself away from the turmoil on television and look outside, warily. There’s a blizzard forming out there, but it’s a shitstorm south of the border. You know how damn good you have it in the land of Ketchup Chips, the true north, strong and free. You’re a living meme and you wouldn’t have it any other way.