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What Is Your State Drinking In A Bar?

Reddit User CertDenied recently asked "The United States is a bar, what is each State doing and drinking?" Here are the hilariously accurate responses. Credit for several states goes to user Motherboy, whose comment has been broken up. Mississippi is tragically absent from this bar.

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1. Alabama

Alabama is a fat guy with a goatee, wearing a camo jacket and a trucker hat. Despite his drunkenness and outwards appearance of being a racist redneck, he is actually pretty nice to everyone at the bar. He's drinking a can of budweiser.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

6. Colorado

Colorado is a beautiful, perfectly athletic couple wearing all Patagonia, drinking craft beer talking about their last mountaineering trip, with an air of aloofness. They are hanging with California.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

22. Michigan

Michigan is a laid back young guy in his early twenties with the classic Michigan accent that has a note of huskiness to it. He has on a backwards Lions hat, t-shirt and jeans. Everyone loves him, and is the life of the party, and he's been making out with PA for quite a while. He's been drinking a lot of beer, but doesn't seem buzzed at all.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

27. Nevada

Nevada is a sketchy, middle-aged balding man chain-smoking cigarettes he pulls from his black leather jacket, rolling dice on the bar counter top and drinking whiskey, straight up. He's creepily staring at California, and trying to get Florida to dice with him.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

28. New Hampshire

New Hampshire is a skinny, nerdy white guy in a collared shirt and khakis, who also carried in signs for his favorite political candidate. He's drinking craft beer and getting into philosophical and political discussions with Vermont and Maine, but is open to talk to everyone. He is quick to tell everyone he loves himself, and humbly without arrogance.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

29. New Jersey

New Jersey is a man of Italian/Mediterranean decent wearing a wifebeater and track pants. He's eating a calzone and is drinking a Crown and Coke.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

31. New York

New York is an Italian businessman, wearing an expensive suit, with a perfect haircut and slicked back hair. He is talking down to New Jersey, like a father talking to a son, and he's drinking scotch.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

35. Oklahoma

Oklahoma is a obese couple who have not moved from there spots since sitting down next to Texas. They have on sweatpants, and brought in fast food to eat at the bar. They are drinking Bud Light bottles.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

39. South Carolina

South Carolina is an overly drunk guy in his mid-twenties, wearing preppy pastel clothes, a sports jacket, and pants with little boats embroidered on them. He is talking about what he is going to do with his family's old money to anyone who listens. He's drinking an Old Fashioned.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

44. Vermont

Vermont is a guy who brought in his own craft beer from his hometown in Vermont, and stubbornly refuses to try any other beer, but is pretty much friendly to everyone.

(H/t Reddit user motherboy)

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