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14 Items You Need For An Epic Vacation

Pack like you party! Brought to you by UE BOOM.

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1. Kick-ass camera lenses for your phone.

ThinkGeek
ThinkGeek

You're gonna take a ton of pictures anyway, right? So why not make them look good?

This particular set comes with a 180° fisheye lens, wide-angle, and macro, 2X telephoto lens... so your pictures of pineapples (or whatever) will be the toast of Instagram.

Get it at ThinkGeek.com.

2. An underwater camera, because everything's sexier underwater.

Andy Fitzsimon (CC BY-SA http://2.0) Flickr: andyfitz

Cell phones and water go together like... well... electronics and water. BUT with an underwater camera, you can take those scandalous photos, and the only thing you have to worry about is your dignity.

Get it at Amazon.com.

3. Glow-in-the-dark condoms and nail polish.

Use your imagination.

Get the condoms and nail polish at Amazon.com.

4. A disguised flask for, you know, cheaper drinks.

ThinkGeek

Avoid the markup at any of those tourist bars. And let's face it, any sort of tourist attraction is more fun after you've had a few.

Get it at ThinkGeek.com.

5. A bra that is also a bar.

Not only will it increase your bust size, but with this, you'll have 25 ounces of liquid fun!

Get it at Amazon.com.

6. A portable stadium pal, especially after enjoying all those sneaked drinks.

When you gotta go, you gotta go. If you're making good time on the highway, or you just can't wait in line for the restroom, one of these babies might save you from a ruined pair of pants.

Get it at Biorelief.com.

7. A water purifier. Yes, really.

Because you'd rather spend $41 than spend 41 hours with Montezuma's Revenge.

Get it at Amazon.com.

8. Sunglasses that turn everything into an Instagram filter.

instagram.com

Now you won't waste valuable vacation time taking crappy pics — with these sunglasses, you'll know if it'll look good with that damn filter you always use.

Pre-order them now at TensLife.com.

9. A combination door stop/alarm. Just in case.

It's not that you don't trust the hotel locks, but... you know... this thing takes up almost no space, so why not? Plus, if you want to spend some private time with that charming tourist guide you just met, you want to be sure there are no untimely interruptions from your hotel roommate.

Get it at Amazon.com.

10. And speaking of "just in case"... a combination machete / saw could come in handy.

Good luck getting this through security. But if you end up landing on a deserted island instead of an island resort, you’ll be named the pirate king.Get it at Amazon.

Good luck getting this through security. But if you end up landing on a deserted island instead of an island resort, you’ll be named the pirate king.

Get it at Amazon.

11. A towel demonstrating your... attributes.

Show off an idealized version of your body at the beach — let everyone know what they're missing!

Get it at DickTowel.com.

12. A hand-powered sand excavator.

When push comes to shovel on the beach and you become lead architect on the biggest, baddest sandcastle ever, you’ll want one of these. Also comes in handy for burying unruly children neck deep in sand. Get it at Amazon.

When push comes to shovel on the beach and you become lead architect on the biggest, baddest sandcastle ever, you’ll want one of these. Also comes in handy for burying unruly children neck deep in sand.

Get it at Amazon.

13. The portable one-person beach party.

It’s a party, a recliner, a cooler. Tell someone else to bring chips Get it at CoolPile.

It’s a party, a recliner, a cooler. Tell someone else to bring chips

Get it at CoolPile.

14. A solar-powered, phone-charging tote bag.

Charge your gadgets and carry as many flower print shirts as you possibly can at the same time.Get it at The Gadgeteer.

Charge your gadgets and carry as many flower print shirts as you possibly can at the same time.

Get it at The Gadgeteer.

And, of course, some kick-ass wireless speakers so you can be the party ambassador the world deserves.